The plans. The nerves. The wardrobe choices. As single people, we put so much emphasis on the first date when actually, the second date is just as (if not more) important.

In my personal experience, the second date has always been the deciding factor between “yay” or “nay.” Whether the first date was awesome or just “pretty good,” the second date provides a chance to actually get to know the person a bit better without the nerves and hype of the first date clouding your vision. As comic Aziz Ansari says, “some people are like Flo Rida songs” – the more you listen to them, the more you start to vibe with them. This is especially true if you’re looking for a long lasting relationship.

According to data from Match.com’s 2015 sixth annual Singles in America study in 2015 ( which surveyed 5,500 people), singles who are actively looking for commitment are 74 percent more likely to give a date a second chance. The data also suggests that Aziz was right on the money. At least half of men and women surveyed believe that just like the chorus of “Wild Ones;” people can grow on you too.

Helen Fisher, PhD, is a biological anthropologist and the chief scientific adviser to Match.com, who helped conduct the above study. As she told Cosmopolitan, “when you first meet someone, you know so little about them that you put too much emphasis on the tiniest details. Your date might say one dumb thing and you assume that means he or she isn’t that smart. But data shows that the more you get to know a person, the more you get to like them.” As Fisher points out, when it comes to dating, it’s so easy to find reasons to say no to that second date, when really a smarter dating strategy would be to find reasons to say yes.

Still not convinced? Here’s a few more reasons why we shouldn’t underestimate the power of the second date.

1. You’re less nervous.

With the nerves of the first date out of the way, you can relax and really start getting to know the other person. I don’t know about you, but I’m usually so excited, nervous and focused on whether my hair looks OK  on first date that sometimes I miss details like where someone went to school or what their parents do. This is especially true if I find myself very attracted to my date. The second date is a great chance to slow down and really listen to the other person. People will tell you who they are and what kind of values they have. So, pay attention.

2. You can dig deeper into conversation.

First dates can sometimes feel a bit like job interviews. With the biographical Q&A out of the way, on the second date there’s more airtime to joke around and dig deep into the conversation. You might discover that you like them even more than you thought or (worse case scenario) it will become clear that you’re not a good match. Either way, the second date will usually tell you what you need to know.

3. Sometimes it’s all about the slow burn.

According to data from OKCupid, 79 percent of guys would still pursue a relationship with someone they thought was great even if they didn’t feel immediate fireworks. Although I don’t have any figures handy, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that many women feel the same way. There’s been cases where I’ve felt crazy sparks on the first date, only to have them quickly burn out a few dates later. Conversely, there’s been other romances that have slowly built over time. As Fisher confirms, “there’s such a myth of instant fireworks, but the brain system that governs romantic love can be woken up at any time. You might feel that attraction at the beginning, or it might happen after a couple of dates or even after years of being friends.” So, don’t put out the fire before it’s had a chance to build. Say yes to that second date.