When a man’s interest goes from 100 to zero, the first question we usually ask is “Why?” In fact, many of us will spend hours, days or weeks trying to figure out what exactly went wrong. Reddit posed this exact question to a group of men and the answers they gave were actually pretty illuminating.

Looking to capture his attention? Here are a few dating behaviors to avoid.

1. Playing hard to get.

Reddit user rhyme_traveler says:

Several men responded to his post expressing similar frustrations. The problem is that for years, dating “experts” have been telling women that the only way to get a man invested in you is to play hard to get. Well, in case you needed even more proof that this is total BS – here it is.

While I don’t think it’s a good idea to make yourself too available, especially to people you’ve just met online, life is short and, if you’re interested in someone, why not let them know?

2. Backing out on plans.

The idea of playing hard to get or just playing games period seems to be a recurring theme when it comes to men losing interest. Reddit user Bsl235 says:

This makes a lot of sense. If you’re legitimately interested in someone, don’t break plans with them just for the heck of it. Instead of making you seem less available, it just wastes the other person’s time, making them frustrated in the process. If you’re not interested, it’s better to just not make plans in the first place.

Lastly, if you’re interested, but can’t seem to make time for the other person because of other responsibilities, maybe this isn’t the right time to be dating – and that’s OK, too.

3. Devising ways to “test the relationship.”

Several men on Reddit said that it’s a huge turn-off when women do things to “test the relationship.” Whether it’s hiring a porn-star to entrap their partner into cheating (yes, this is a real thing and there’s an entire YouTube channel devoted to these kinds of scenarios) or asking their date to buy tampons for them before they meet for the first date (this happened to Reddit user agustin_m), “testing” your date is sure to sound some major warning bells.

As Reddit user Salgat says, “testing” is very stressful and spoils an otherwise good relationship. “I need someone I consider an equal and can trust, not someone constantly trying to find a way to undermine the relationship.”

Reddit user skippythewonder agrees:

4. Forgetting to bring your purse.

Want to hold your date’s interest? Leave your expectation that they’ll pay for everything at home and come prepared.

Reddit user happs20 says:

Ladies, always, always come prepared to a date with any essentials and enough cash to not only pay for your half of the outing, but also enough to get home safely.

5. Expecting him to make all the moves.

As Reddit user Zadqiel says, “reciprocity makes the world turn.” If you’re looking to establish a relationship with someone, you can’t just expect them to do all the work. User Whitby_ufo agreed:

“Some women think they’re romantic, but what they mean is that they want romantic gestures done for them and have never considered doing romantic things for their man. Nothing takes me from 100 to 0 like being the only romantic in the relationship. I like extremely thoughtful (not necessarily expensive) gifts and surprises too… Make me a “mix tape” that expresses how you feel about me. Make me a picnic of my favorite things and meet me there with that surprise… etc.

It doesn’t even need to be large gestures like these all the time, or when you’re extremely busy at work, or daily, or whatever… but just doing something extra for the other person whenever you can shows that you’re thinking about them and really care about them when they’re not around.”

Amen, to that!

So, what can we take away from this as single women? Well, several useful dating tips.

If you’re interested in someone, don’t be afraid to show it through your actions. Say yes to plans when you’re available and treat the other person how you’d like to be treated.

Secondly, be a bad-ass, independent woman who isn’t afraid to make the first move or be the one bringing the romance. Lastly, get comfortable with the fact that a relationship is a two-way street. Yes, you deserve the best, but so does your partner. Be respectful of yourself, the people you date and act accordingly.