In an era when it’s hip to be health conscious (juice cleanse, anyone?) diet has become a divisive factor when it comes to dating. This is especially true if you’re like me and live on the West Coast or a similar locale where healthy lifestyles reign supreme and everyone you meet seems be a gluten-free-paleo-organic-only-vegan who is obsessed with Crossfit and does yoga ten times a day. Sigh.
I love my gluten-free bagels and yoga as much as the next girl, but the idea of dating someone who has a drastically different diet than mine – for example, someone who doesn’t eat meat or any animal products and never will – is just a tad bit intimidating. However, it doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker. With an open mind, heart and a lot of respect, dating a vegan can actually be really awesome.
However, it seems as though a lot of people have missed the memo. According to Forbes magazine, 30 percent of omnivores claimed they would not consider dating a vegetarian or vegan. On the other hand, vegetarians proved to be the overwhelmingly more tolerant bunch, with 96 percent of those polled being open to dating an omnivore. In other words, by opening yourself to the possibility of dating a vegan, you’re essentially exposing yourself to a whole group of potentially really cool people that your peers may have unfairly rejected just based on the fact that they prefer their burgers made with tempeh instead of angus beef. See what I’m getting at here?
If you’re the kind of person who enjoys a Cajun rib-eye more than a handful of chia seeds, here are a few tips for dating (and hopefully winning the heart) of that vegan guy or girl you have your eye on.
1. Keep in mind that it’s not all about you.
This is wise advice for dating anyone, period. However, there is no quicker way to turn off your vegan date than by going on a rant about how you couldn’t live without steak, late night trips to White Castle or your one true love: bacon. Actually, we could all survive without these things (well, maybe not bacon), but that’s not the point. What you need to keep in mind is that your date’s choices about what they put in their body have absolutely nothing to do with you, but rather it’s all about being true to their own values; that kind of commitment is pretty freaking cool when you think about it.
Remember, it’s a date, not a debate. You’re there to get to know this lovely person and see if you have a connection, not to extol the virtues of your omnivore ways and how no one should have to live without triple cream brie. Would you sit down for dinner with a gay person and focus the whole conversation on why being straight is “Way more fun”? Unless you’re a total jerk with zero social skills, I’m guessing no.
2. Don’t obsess over his or her diet.
Although most vegans I’ve met will happily tell you about what they enjoy eating, this shouldn’t be the focus of your conversation. Is the fact that you eat meat the most interesting thing about you? No. So, unless you’re trying to purposely bore them, stop asking your vegan stuff like, “How do you get your protein? Don’t you feel hungry and unhealthy all the time? Are you sure you don’t miss meat?” Instead, you should be focusing on all the other good stuff you both have to offer: the exciting places you’ve traveled, the music you’re into, your date’s gorgeous face.
3. Do your research.
Don’t want to come off as an ignorant bore? Do a little research about veganism before the first date so you can avoid asking lame questions like, “So, what’s the deal with eggs? Can you eat eggs?” If you really want to score some points, check to make sure the restaurant you’re going to has veggie options – or even better yet, take your date to a local vegetarian or vegan restaurant.
4. Learn to cook some vegan dishes.
Everyone loves a good home-cooked meal. If you want to impress your date, find some vegan-friendly recipes online and make them a meal to remember. You might be surprised just how easy and delicious vegan meals can be – especially when they’re prepared with love. Showing your love interest that you’re interested in learning and accommodating their dietary needs will definitely win you some major points. Now pass those black bean tacos!
5. Be thoughtful.
A little thought goes a long way, my friends. Although I’m not suggesting you overwhelm your vegan love interest by immediately showering them with gifts, with time and some active listening, you can learn what kind of stuff they’re into and cater to that. For example, if they mention they have a sweet tooth, swing by Whole Foods on the way to their house and pick up two vegan brownies or chocolates to share. Alternatively, if they’re really into bath and beauty products, there are lots of really cool brands out there with vegan-friendly lines. Do a little research and then treat your love interest to an evening of pampering – vegan style.
6. Remember, they’re just like you.
Dating a vegan doesn’t mean you’re dating an alien. Keep in mind you’re dating a normal person who just happens to eat slightly different things than you do. Although food definitely plays a role in a relationship, it’s a small slice of the pie (pun intended.) To speak in very general terms, vegans are normal people like you and me, who enjoy normal people things like going to the movies, taking vacations and watching marathons of True Detective on HBO.
When it comes to winning the heart of a vegan, at the end of the day it all comes down to this:
Respect your vegan’s choices and they’ll respect yours. Simple as that. Also, showing up at their doorstep with a box of vegan truffles and a bouquet of organic roses doesn’t hurt.
