Looking for love, but too busy to actually date? Meet the Dating Concierge – a new dating service that’s rapidly growing in popularity. Unlike traditional dating coaching, which helps people build confidence and become a better “date,” Dating Concierges offer “full service” dating support which includes, but is not limited to, personal dating coaching, planning dates and even managing your online profile so that you can focus on the task at hand – making those actual face to face connections. With all of the annoying nitty-gritty details like wardrobe choices, date location and restaurant reservations taken care of, you can just sit back, relax and allow the sparks to fly! Or, something.
If you’re skeptical about the idea of hiring someone to manage your love life, you’re not alone. When I first read about the rise of the Dating Concierge, my first reaction was, “The people paying for these services just sound lazy!” However, I understand that it takes a lot of time and effort to plan dates that don’t revolve around watching back to back episodes of True Detective while you eat Thai takeout right out of the carton – especially if you’re an already over-worked young professional trying to make a name for themselves in the corporate world (the prime demographic that Dating Concierge services are marketed towards.)
When I landed my first “real job” after college, most nights I would come home so exhausted that I’d just want to stuff my face before curling up into a ball on the sofa: cue Netflix. My boyfriend at the time was in a similar position, yet we both made an effort to plan special nights out for each other. His continued effort to always make the time we spent together special was one of the reasons I fell in love with him in the first place.
However, the love story I described above occurred at a time prior to the explosion of smart-phone culture. With more technology comes more problems. People are often expected to be on-call both socially and professionally long after the 9-5 workday wraps. A decade ago, you could still more or less “unplug” at the end of the day if you wanted to. This created more time for romance – time that now seems at a premium. The drive to get ahead and succeed professionally in an ever changing financial climate often leaves little time for a personal life. On the flipside, some people still have ample time for romance; they’re just terrible at dating. This is where the idea of the Dating Concierge comes in.
eFlirt Expert, an online dating consultancy, currently offers a Dating Concierge service. As they explain in their promotional materials, “The Concierge is a complete outsourcing and coaching package for your online dating life. Focus your time on in-person dates while the experts concentrate on the more tedious aspects of digital dating. Created for busy professionals, the Concierge optimizes and manages every moment of your online dating experience. More than a dating assistant, we coach you through the emotions of your love life, too.” Sounds pretty convenient, right?
Although individual services vary, if you’re considering outsourcing your love life, here are a few things that a Dating Concierge can likely help you with.
1) Conceiving of and planning original date ideas – If your idea of a romantic date is dinner and a movie, this is the service you’re looking for. A Dating Concierge does all the behind the scenes leg-work to ensure that your dates are impressive. As the eFlirt Experts explain, “From a warm and welcoming environment for the first time you meet to a dynamic “wow” date after you’ve been seeing someone for a while, we’ll select spots, make reservations, and create the perfect evening.” Whether your perfect evening involves dinner at an intimate French Bistro or playing ping-pong at a quirky, Hipster arcade meets dive bar, a Dating Concierge can help plan the perfect night out that reflects both you and your date’s personality.
2) Writing – So, you’re an intelligent, thoughtful, successful person who just happens to really struggle with talking about him or herself – this is another thing an Dating Concierge can help you with. As much as we try and deny it, first impressions really do count. When it comes to online dating, your profile and photo are your calling card – literally. A professionally penned profile can help get you started on the right foot, so you can focus on being awesome in person. After all, sometimes other people can see us clearer than we can see ourselves.
3) Managing your online interactions – One of the things I really struggle with when it comes to online dating, is finding the time to actually reply to all my messages, while also seeking out new potential matches. I spend all day on the internet for work. The last thing I want to do is spend more time glued to my laptop. Instead, I’d rather be out meeting and dating attractive people. A Dating Concierge can take over the online aspect of your dating life, so you have time to focus on the actual dates. As eFlirt Concierge services explain, “All messages — both incoming and on-going — will be handled by us. Never again will a great match fall off your radar because of your busy schedule, utilizing our proven messaging strategies and conversation techniques. Of course, you’ll be in the loop as conversations progress”
Despite all of the apparent advantages, I’m still slightly skeptical about the advent of Dating Concierges. There’s something about it that screams out Cyrano De Bergerac. Do you really want someone impersonating you online – or just in general? We’ve all seen the 1980’s classic “Roxanne,” so we know how that ends. With that said, I think there is an important lesson to be learned from the rise of the Dating Concierge: that dating – whether you hire someone to do it or take the DIY route – takes thoughtfulness and effort. So, put away that Thai food, turn off that episode of True Detective and get out there and do something meaningful. We promise both will be waiting for you when you get back. Well, maybe not the Thai food.
