Since Donald Trump has entered the Presidential race there’s been a familiar refrain amongst his non-supporters: “If Trump wins, I’m moving to Canada!” But, now that Trump is officially the Republican Presidential Candidate, you could say that things are starting to feel a bit more…real.
The phrase “I have a girlfriend that lives in Canada” used to be a joke. However, now the dating world is preparing for the potential influx of single Americans into Canada with services such as the recently launched CanadianGirlfriend.ca – a site designed to help American men find the Canadian woman of their dreams, before they are forced to join a mass exodus to the Great White North.
As a Canadian, I can totally see why people would want to move here. We’ve got free healthcare, lots of gorgeous scenery and of course, plenty of eligible singles. Also, did I mention poutine? Nothing soothes the soul on a chilly winter day like a bucket of fries, gravy and melted soft cheese. Trust.
But, while all of this sounds fine and dandy (I think I had most of you at “bucket of fries”) the reality of cross-border dating is actually more complicated than it sounds.
If you’re considering dating someone who lives in another country, here’s a few pros and cons you should consider.
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You won’t get to see them as often as you’d like.
Unless you live in a city that’s right on the border, there’s a good chance that you’re not going to see the person you’re dating as much as you’d like – or ever. While it’s great that the internet can connect us to people from all over the globe, dating someone long distance (especially if you’ve never met in person) is really challenging. If you’re not planning on moving to their corner of the world (or vice versa) in the very near future and you like doing things like actually going on regular, in-person dates with your boyfriend/girlfriend, you might want to look for that special someone closer to home.
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One of you is going to have to make a move – a big move – to be together.
If you’re serious about leaving the United States if Trump gets elected, then this is a no brainer for you – you’re moving to Canada! But, if you happen to be a non-American who is cross-border dating, the decision on where to move is going to be a lot more complicated. Is your boyfriend/girlfriend going to move to be with you or will you emigrate to be with them? It doesn’t matter how much you love the other person or how good that poutine is, leaving your country for another is a huge decision and shouldn’t be taken lightly.
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There’s nothing romantic about immigration red tape.
While moving to another country to be with the person you love sounds incredibly romantic, the reality of the situation is much less so. While it’s become increasingly easy to meet people across vast distances, it’s becoming harder to actually be together. Post 9/11, a lot of countries have cracked down on immigration. Couples now often have to go through years of jumping through hoops just to get through the many layers of immigration red tape. The process can test even the most solid couples. As friends who have married foreign spouses have reminded me, “the process is long, so you have to really, really want to be together.”
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Cross-border dating is expensive.
If you actually want to date – i.e. see each other in person on any kind of regular basis – there’s costs involved for cross-border dating. Long drives. Airline tickets. Hotels. Immigration costs. Unfortunately, international love doesn’t come cheap. So, if you’ve decided to make the leap to be with someone in another country, you need to be prepared for the financial commitment as well as the emotional one.
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Overcoming challenges together can make or break you as a couple.
While cross-border dating isn’t easy, it can be really worthwhile – especially when you meet the right person. Between the long-distance, the costs and the complicated immigration process, dating cross-border is an exercise in patience and overcoming challenges as a couple. But, after speaking to friends who have married partners that had to immigrate to be with them, at the end of the day, the challenges are worth it. When it comes to cross-border dating, what doesn’t break you, makes you stronger. And for those times when your heart hurts, there’s always poutine.
