As you may have guessed, there’s a surge in the numbers of people who sign up for online dating sites in January. For some, it’s probably the result of New Year’s resolutions to put themselves out there and be proactive. But for plenty of others it’s the sneaky approach of Valentine’s Day just around the corner. You want to preempt it. You don’t want to be alone but chances are good that you don’t want to be stuck in that awkward situation of dating but not quite in a relationship where you can shower your love with romance just yet.
Today is two weeks and one day from Valentine’s Day. Is it time to lock yourself in your room until after it’s all over? Not quite yet.
Step one: Forget about Valentine’s Day. The idea of a day that you can only celebrate if you have a date can be pretty high pressure. If you let it get to you, you may start to rush things or begin to despair. But keep in mind that your love life will continue even on February 15th. Valentine’s Day is not a final deadline so you can just keep trying even after it passes. As Valentine’s Day approaches you may even find that the people who are still active on the online dating sites are the ones who are more interested in a relationship and there are fewer people just hoping for a date for the big day.
And in the meantime, there are plenty of great ways to celebrate even if you don’t have a date. Your Valentine can be anyone you love, even if it’s not romantic love. Consider making a homemade card to send to your mom, taking your best friend out to dinner or planning a nostalgic day of fun with a sibling.
Of course there are still two weeks to go and if you haven’t closed up your online dating account by now, you may still have a date before then. And that’s ok. It may seem like it’s a tough time to start a brand new relationship but it doesn’t have to be. The key is to stay calm and communicate. Valentine’s Day only gets difficult if you start trying to guess what’s in another person’s mind or expect someone to read yours.
If you’ve been seeing someone long enough that you think they may have expectations about Valentine’s Day, just ask them. “Valentine’s Day is coming up and I’m not sure what that’s supposed to look like at this stage. Do you have any ideas? I’d love to spend some time with you but I want to make sure we’re on the same page.”
If you haven’t met in person yet or have only met once, this can be a great excuse to move things forward as long as you keep it casual. “Valentine’s Day is next week and I was wondering if you’d like to do something fun together.” Have some informal activities ready to suggest. The same goes for gifts. Since it is Valentine’s Day, you have an excuse to show off your cute and thoughtful side but make sure to keep things light: Show up to the date with a single flower or some chocolate kisses to share but steer away from a dozen roses and a fancy candy gift box.
If your relationship hasn’t moved offline yet, Valentine’s Day may not even come up. But if you decide you want to go that extra mile and try to sweep someone off their feet a simple email message will do. Just remind them that it’s Valentine’s Day and wish them a great day.
