Ah, Emojis. As many singles spend the days leading up to a date texting and less time actually having face to face interactions, emojis – those tiny digital images of smiley faces and the like – have become an integral part of modern flirting.
According to a recent survey by online dating website Match.com, almost half of men and women surveyed said that they use emojis to add some personality to their texts. Dating in the digital age can sometimes feel impersonal, therefore it makes sense that people are using them to help bridge the gap between digital communication and face to face flirting.
Perhaps even more interesting, of the singles surveyed, emoji users in their 20s, 30s and 40s were more likely to report having sex at least monthly than non-emoji users. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University, the biological anthropologist who helped develop the survey, says that this could be because emoji users are more self-expressive and hence, more sexual. As she explains, “Technology reduces our ability to express our emotions, and emotional expression is a huge part of communication, so we are reinventing ways to express ourselves.”
However, although emoji use has been proven to help your romantic chances, they can also shoot you in the foot. When it comes to emojis, using them inappropriately can definitely lead to “too much of a good thing.”
When it comes to dating and emojis, here’s a few things to keep in mind –
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DO use emojis sparingly.
Call me silly, but when it comes to texting correspondence, my heart always warms a bit when I see that yellow smiley face at the end of a sentence. For example, when the person I’m talking to says something like, “I’m looking forward to meeting you. Have a good-night!<insert smiley face>” when they sign off. Smiling is a good thing. It shows that you’re friendly, approachable and well, happy. If something (or someone) legitimately makes you smile, don’t be afraid to add in an emoji. It’s fun, it’s lighthearted and it shows that you’re excited to get to know the other person.
- DON’T use emojis in lieu of punctuation.
Recently I was talking to a guy who suffered from a serious case of emoji overload. He’d use a smiley or winking emoji after every one or two sentences, so that our conversations would look like this:
How’s it going? 🙂
Good!
That’s good 🙂
How are you?
I’m good 🙂 Any fun plans for the day? 😉 😉
Just work!
Awesome 😉 😉
The constant winking and smiling made me feel like there was some kind of inside joke going on that I just wasn’t privy to. I’m sure he was just excited to talk to me, but the overuse of emojis – in particular the winky one – came off as slightly creepy and off-putting.
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Beware of the winky and the smirking emoji –
As I mentioned above, tread lightly when it comes to the winky emoji. Personally, I see the winky emoji as a substitute for “I’m just kidding around” or “I mean this ironically.” For example, if you’ve been joking around your town’s wonderfully cheesy snowglobe museum, it’s totally appropriate to write this: “Meeting up at 8pm sounds great! That will give us ample time to shake a few snowglobes before the movie. <insert wink>” In this case the winky is fun and charming. However, if you use it too much or in places that don’t make sense, it can across as creepy. For example, “You look really nice in your photos <insert wink>”
As for the smirking emoji – the one with the raised eyebrows and slightly drunk looking, lopsided smile – this one basically translates to “I’m thinking about sex.” If you don’t want your date to assume you’re thinking about sex ALL. THE. TIME. do not use this emoji. We may think you’re sexy, but this emoji is not.
(Same goes with the tongue emoji and the banana. Just don’t use these.)
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Keep things appropriate –
Along with minimizing your use of winky and smirky faces, there are some emojis that just shouldn’t be used when communicating with a love interest – ever. Some of these include the knife, the gun, the hypodermic needle and the poop. There is nothing romantic about the poop emoji. While you’re at it, you might also want to avoid the icon of the man in a turban and what appears to be an Asian man in a beanie. Why? Because, cultural sensitivity – that’s why.
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Remember that emojis aren’t a substitute for actual communication –
Although a digital smiley face or thumbs up here or there can definitely add some life and personality to your texts, don’t rely on emojis to communicate for you.
FYI, <Hamburger><Smiley Face><Wink><Wink><Russian Flag><Tempura Shrimp> is not a stand-in for actual communication skills.
