Have you ever been on a date so terrible, that you’ve actually wanted to form a boozy support group with other singles who have also endured the same pain? Six women in Washington, DC were unexpectedly granted that exact wish recently – with hilarious results – when the same guy made plans with all of them and they decided to ditch him and become friends instead.
It all started a few weeks ago, when Lisette Pylant showed up at a bar to meet a guy a friend had set her up with on her birthday.
Thread alert: so I go on what I think might be a date with a guy my friends set me up on on my birthday (yes it’s a bit hazy).
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 7, 2017
However, upon sitting down at the bar, the bartender warned her that the dude is bad news and that she should get out of there.
We meet up at a bar my friend works at. Said friend proceeds to text me telling me this guy sucks and I should run
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 7, 2017
As predicted, the guy is a total dud, but she decides to stay for this gong-show of a date. What happens next is totally surreal.
After 45 minutes, another woman shows up. Like the plotline of a screwball comedy, this guy has double booked himself. When the guy gets up from his seat, Pylant decides to tell the woman what’s up, making a new friend in the process.
So 45 mins in his next date shows up because he double books himslef and he decides he’s going to friendzone me to get out of the situation
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 7, 2017
Eventually, a third, fourth, fifth and sixth women arrive. Pylant lures them all to another bar, where they form an epic girl-gang, leaving the man with the tab.
MRS. STEAL YOUR GIRL OVER HERE pic.twitter.com/27rY4QJ1EF
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
Near the end of the night, Pylant runs into the guy, leaving the bar with no dates (surprise, surprise). When confronted, he defends himself by saying that he was just setting up “pre-date conversations” because he’s a “project manager” and “efficient” with his time. Color us skeptical.
Here’s the thing: there’s nothing wrong with dating and/or getting to know multiple people at the same time. There’s also nothing wrong with scheduling two different dates on the same day or night, provided that you leave ample time between the two and (if necessary) let the other person know that you’ve got plans later in the evening. Inviting six different women to have a drink with you in 45-minute overlapping time slots is not how it’s done. Efficiency be damned, that’s just crappy human behavior.
With that said, if you’re going to date multiple people, here’s how to do it right.
Go to different locations.
If you’re going to be meeting two different people on the same day or night, have the common sense and courtesy to schedule those dates at two separate locations. For example, maybe you want to grab an after-work drink with one person and then head over to another venue to catch a band with a second person. Unless you want your dates to feel like they’re part of some sort of dating open casting call, do not, I repeat do not, hold court at the same bar or coffee shop while your dates come and go. As we’ve learned from the story above, not only is the potential for drama huge, it’s also disrespectful.
Allow time between dates.
Your dates shouldn’t run so close together that they have the chance of bumping into each other. Better yet, schedule your dates on different nights and at different locations to avoid awkwardness for everyone involved.
Communicate openly.
If you manage to make it past the first date or two and things have the potential to get serious, be honest that you’re dating multiple people. Hurt feelings happen when people make assumptions about exclusivity. Being honest may feel momentarily awkward, but will make things better in the long run.
Don’t be that girl/guy.
As a rule of thumb, don’t do anything that the guy described in Pylant’s twitter thread would do – and if you do happen to go down that route, don’t be surprised if you get a similar reaction or worse.
