Are you dating just for the sake of dating? It’s OK – we’ve all done it at one point or another. We live in a world where we’re encouraged to connect and couple up – for better or for worse. So, often people will end up dating because they feel like it’s what they should be doing. After all, if your long-term goal is to find a relationship, you need to keep dating whoever you can until you find one – right?!

Well, not really. You may also think that dating short-term is better than being alone. But, if a long-term relationship is what you’re really after,  dating people that you don’t see a future with actually hurts you in the long-run.

Here’s why you need to stop dating people you don’t see a future with.

1. It’s the emotional equivalent of treading water.

When you tread water you move your arms and legs vigorously while staying in exactly the same place. This is what happens when you date people that you don’t see a future with: it keeps you busy, but you don’t move forward towards your goal of meeting the right person.

2. What’s the point?

No really, what’s the point? If you’ve made the decision that you never want to have a long term relationship – ever – then maybe dating people you don’t see a future with is perfect for you. But, I’m guessing that if you’re reading this article, you do want something more meaningful.  So, unless you see a potential future with someone, what’s the point of investing your time in getting to know them?

3. You could be doing something better with your time.

I know you probably think that going out on a date – any date – is a better use of your time than staying home and relaxing with Netflix, but you’re wrong. Going out with someone you’re not that into < staying home doing something you enjoy.

Forget Netflix – there’s a million other things I’d rather be doing than going on a date with someone I’m not feeling. For example, hanging out with friends, watching a really great documentary, going to the gym, learning something new. When we do the things that we love, we attract the right people into our lives. But, that’s not going to happen if you keep spending time with the wrong ones.

4. You’re leading people on.

You’re not only wasting your time, you’re wasting the time of the people you date. If someone sees a future with you and you don’t feel the same way, continuing to date them is only going to lead them on, wasting their time and hurting their feelings in the process. Not cool.

5. You need to learn to spend time alone.

One of the most common complaints I hear from serial daters is, “but I hate being alone.” Now, two things: just because you’re single doesn’t mean that you’re “alone.” If being with other people is what energizes you, there are lots of situations (family, friends, clubs, activities) where you can satisfy your craving for all things social. You don’t need to go on dates to have an active social life. In fact, figuring out other ways to satisfy that need to be around other people is only going to help you in the long run while making you a more well rounded person.

Secondly, you can’t have a healthy relationship with someone else until you have one with yourself. This means learning to spend time alone. Instead of dating people that you don’t see a future with. Try dating someone else for awhile: yourself. You might find that you thoroughly enjoy it.

6. It’s holding you back from meeting the right person.

“Treading water” keeps your social calendar full, but it also holds you back from meeting and dating the right person. If all of your time and emotional energy is tied up in dating people that you’re not really into, it can blind you to the people out there who might actually be a good fit. Think of your love life like a highway and the people you date as cars. If your heart is always gridlocked, the right ones can’t get through.

7. You deserve to date someone you actually like.

You do. You really, really do. We all deserve to have happy, healthy, fulfilling relationships. But, to get there we often need to make changes to how we approach dating. In this case, don’t be afraid to let go of the things that are “just OK” in order to make room for something that is really great.