We all have that one ex that we’ve allowed to linger in our lives long after the breakup, like the smell coming from a bag of stale McDonald’s that’s been left in the communal lunch room for one hour too long. Yes, you know the one. You’re kind-of-sort-of-friends and maybe a tiny part of you hopes that if you keep them around long enough, you might actually work things out. Sound familiar?

When I first started dating and having relationships in my late teens and early twenties, I used to think that you had to try and stay friends with all of your exes. After all, when people spoke of being friends with their exes, it seemed so mature and grown-up. I desperately wanted to be mature and grown-up, so I allowed almost every dude I dated to stick around long after we’d called it quits.

I eventually learned that while sometimes you can stay friends with an ex, more often than not, keeping your ex in the picture usually is more trouble than it’s worth.

Not sure whether it’s finally time to rid your life of your ex for good? Here’s a few signs that it’s time to say adios.

1. You’re having the same arguments that you had when you were together even though you’re broken up.

You’re not even together anymore but you’re still arguing about that time you saw him having coffee with that girl Tammy from yoga class and called him out about it. If you’re still bickering like you were when you were a couple, this is a clear sign that your ex has gotta go.

2. They make you feel bad about yourself.

Whether it’s the fact that they love to talk about other guys/girls bodies whenever you’re around or they make passive aggressive digs about your appearance, lifestyle, bank account (or anything really), if being around your ex doesn’t make you feel good, it’s time to let them go for good. Life is too short to hang around with people who don’t bring us joy.

3. You can’t handle hearing about them dating other people.

You should be okay hearing about how he and Tammy from yoga had so much fun at the farmer’s market last weekend and how hot she is…yadda yadda yadda. Right? No! You’re absolutely not required to be okay with any of this as the ex-girlfriend or boyfriend. Also, your ex should respect your boundaries and not share all of this with you. It’s common sense and human decency. However, if your ex doesn’t get this, this is a surefire sign that having them in your life is no good. Why torture yourself with tales of your ex’s new dating life, when you could be living a peaceful, drama free life without them?

4. You’re having a hard time getting over the relationship.

When you end a relationship, you need time and space to grieve. It’s really hard to get this much needed distance (both emotionally and physically) when your ex is still in your life. If you find you’re struggling to get over the relationship or are hoping (wishing, praying) that you and ex will be able to get back together someday, there’s no better reason to say goodbye to your ex right now.

Breakups leave us broken and we all need to heal. Yes, couples do sometimes get back together after breaking up but nothing good is going to come from trying to rebuild on a shaky foundation. So, take time to heal. Do some soul-searching and own up to the role you played in the fallout of your relationship. Doing these things will provide you with the perspective needed to move forward.

5. You want to be friends eventually.

There’s no rule that says you can’t eventually be good friends with your ex, but it’s not going to happen immediately. You both need enough space to heal and get over the romantic relationship before you can transition it into a friendship. A good litmus test is whether you’re comfortable hearing about them dating other people. If you’ve moved on with your own life, hearing about them seeing new people shouldn’t be such a big deal. Only when the romantic feelings are dead, can you start working on a friendship. Until you get to that point, there’s no harm in keeping your distance.