It’s been said that friending your date on Facebook is the new getting engaged. It’s easy to see why that is: friending someone you’re dating is kind of a big deal. With the click of a mouse or tap of a screen, this person is now privy to all kinds of updates and photos – a live feed of your life – that they wouldn’t have seen otherwise (and vice versa.) Things can get weird – especially when you discover that your date is an admin for a Nickelback fan page and/or posts lewd Gifs of Muppets (true story.)

Also, there’s always the question of what to do about your facebook relationship if/when your romantic relationship ends. Unfriending someone you dated, while awkward, is sometimes necessary. Adding someone on Facebook is a relationship milestone because it essentially says, “I see a future with you…one that hopefully won’t involve me blocking you when we break up.”

So, how do you know whether you’re ready to be friends on Facebook? Here’s a few things to keep in mind.

1. Have you met in person?

If you haven’t seen this person in real life and you’ve literally just met online, don’t add them to Facebook. It doesn’t matter how great a connection you think you already have or how hot this person is, if you haven’t had a chance to actually see who they are in person and more importantly, whether they’re actually trustworthy, there’s absolutely no reason why you should give them access to your social media life. If you’re using the excuse, “but they live so far away…we probably won’t ever get a chance to meet in person anyways” then why the heck are you wasting your time talking to this person when you could be chatting up people you actually can and do want to meet? Next!

2. So, you’ve met in person. When was that again?

If you just had your first date yesterday, do not pass go. It’s way too soon to add someone to Facebook, even if you think they’re really great. Speaking from personal experience, there are plenty of great first dates that are just that – great dates. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re going to want this person in your life a month, two months or six months from now (sorry.) So, if you just met, hold off from clicking “add friend.” If you’ve been seeing each other for a month or two and are excited to keep seeing them, then you might have a legit case for friending them on FB.

3. How do feel when they text you?

On a scale of “OMG SQUEE!” to “UGH. SERIOUSLY” – what’s your reaction when you receive a text from your date? If  their texts make you want to stab your eyeballs with ballpoint pen, do not pass go. However, if their texts make you feel happy and excited, throw another ball in the “friend them on Facebook” basket.

4. Could you see yourself wanting to stay friends with this person?

Can you envision this person staying in your life even if things don’t work out romantically? For example, maybe they’re the kind of person that you’d totally want to invite to a large group event or even (gasp) a singles event in the future. Alternatively, perhaps you guys already have a ton of friends in common and therefore, run in the same circles already. If either of the above scenarios apply, then you have a good case for friending them on Facebook.

5. Are they just a hookup?

If you only talk when you’re looking to hook up and/or very late at night, there’s a good chance that this person is just a hookup – and that’s totally cool. There’s nothing wrong with having a super casual relationship with someone. Just leave it at that. Don’t ruin the magic by adding them to Facebook, only to discover that 90% of their page is bro memes and pro-Trump propaganda. Just don’t.

6. Are you expecting them to like all of your photos?

If you’re adding the person you’re dating to Facebook because you’re looking for reassurance of their affection in the form of likes and comments, just don’t. Not everyone uses social media in the same way. When it comes to being friends on social media, no one owes anyone anything – even if they are dating. If you think you might be upset if your date doesn’t actively engage with you on Facebook, you might want to wait to friend them until you feel more secure in the relationship (in person.)

7. Do you want them to meet your friends and family?

When you add someone on Facebook it’s basically the precursor to meeting your friends and family in person. If you can’t imagine introducing the person you’re dating to these people in real life (or you’re just ‘not there yet’), there’s no reason for you to add them to Facebook. Simple as that.

8. You’re OK with them seeing something potentially embarrassing.

And vice versa. The mid to late 2000’s weren’t a pretty time for many people. Facebook is a minefield of bad haircuts and questionable fashion choices. If you’re not prepared to laugh it all off, it’s not time yet to make this person your friend.

9. You’re prepared to unfriend if things go south.

As mentioned above, when romance goes sour, sometimes the best and only course of action is to unfriend the other person on Facebook. Don’t want to deal with the uncomfortable feelings that come along with seeing someone you dated on Facebook after you’ve broken up? Easy: don’t add them in the first place.