Dating on the rebound: we’ve all been advised against it, but most of us have tried it at one point or another.
After you’ve just called it quits with someone, you’re in a unique place emotionally. Breakups leave us feeling vulnerable, therefore making us receptive to people and situations that we might not be drawn to otherwise.
When I look back at my own dating history, there are a handful of people that make me think, “why did I ever date them?!” And you know what – 90% of them were people I met when I was fresh out of another relationship. I never would have dated them…but then I did.
Here’s a few of the people you’re bound to meet online when you’re on the rebound.
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The person who seems nothing like your ex.
Hooray! This guy or girl seems absolutely nothing like your ex and this is precisely what makes them so appealing. If your ex was an loafer and golf shirt clad preppie, this person is a man-bun sporting hipster who drives a unicycle to work. At face value they seem like everything your ex wasn’t. But, as much as you want to get as far away from your ex as possible, dating their opposite isn’t necessarily the long-term answer. There was a reason why you were attracted to your ex in the first place: because you had things in common. You’ll eventually come to this conclusion after a few days, weeks or months. In the meantime, have fun with that unicycle but don’t get too attached.
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The person who is also on the rebound.
You’re initially drawn to them because – lo and behold – they also just broke up with someone. At first you bond over your shared heartbreak, but eventually it becomes clear that they are not over their ex at all and it’s pretty annoying. Nothing kills the romance like being on a date with someone who won’t stop talking about their ex (especially when you’re trying to get over yours.) Hanging out with them feels like you’re actually on a date with two people: this new person and their ex. Good times! (Not.)
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The person who is looking for an instant relationship.
They’re looking for a hiking partner, a cross-fit training buddy, a confidant, a life coach and a serious girlfriend or boyfriend. They’re hoping you can be all of the above. Maybe they’re also on the rebound or maybe they just can’t handle being alone – either way, they’re not afraid of a serious commitment because they want to be in a relationship RIGHT NOW with…anyone. Are you hearing the warning bells? Because I am.
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The perfect fling.
This person is nothing like your ex and definitely isn’t looking for a serious commitment – or any commitment, really. But, holy crap – they’re hot. Like, so ridiculously hot that you’re able to overlook the fact that their profile is littered with subpar spelling and a few questionable questionable selfies. This is why they’re perfect fling material. Even if you never take the plunge, sometimes just fantasizing about someone else is enough to help you move forward.
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The person you’d never date in a million years.
His dating profile is full of overtly sexual references and shirtless selfies. Her profile has all kinds of angry words in ALL CAPS and is chock full of questionable, blurry photos. Whatever you’re not into, this person is all of it. On one hand, meeting these kinds of characters online can make you feel depressed about your relationship status. (“If this is who is also single, what hope is there?!”) But, you can also look at as a good thing. You may be broken hearted and on the rebound, but at least you’re not desperate enough to date any of these weirdos.
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The player.
Ah yes. Beware of the player. They’re everywhere online. However, when your vision is obscured by a pair of rebound goggles, they’re much harder to spot. It also doesn’t help that they seem perfect. Charming. Attractive. Sweet. Attentive. They could be “The One.” But, they’re so not. They’re just out to get what they can from you and move on. The lesson here: if someone seems too good to be true, they probably are.
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Your ex.
Nothing stings like accidentally stumbling upon the dating profile of the person you just broke up with. Whether it’s online or real life, there’s always the chance that you’ll eventually bump into your ex. As the song goes, “it’s a small world after all.” Although it sucks seeing visual proof that your ex has moved on, you don’t have to torture yourself. Block their profile and move on to better things. You’ve got this.
