Let me know if this sounds familiar: you’ve met a woman online that you’re interested in. You’ve gone on a few dates, but you’re still not 100 percent sure whether she’s into you, too.

In my experience, a lot of men struggle to read the signs sent by interested women and women generally feel like they’re being incredibly obvious.

Take it from a woman who has crushed on many men over her dating career – here are some surefire signs that we’re totally into you.

1. We actively listen to what you say and remember the little things.

If we’re into you, we pay attention. If you mention that you used to have a Labrador named “Sunny” as a child and loved watching Star Trek with your Dad, or that you’re having a hard time finding decent kale chips, we’ll find a way to bring it up in the future (we may even show up with some kale chips in hand!) We do this to show that we’re paying attention and are interested in who you are as a person. If you catch us bringing up small details from a previous conversation, there’s a good chance that we like you, too.

2. We find ways to touch you.

Not in a creepy way, but if we’re into you, we’ll find some way to make physical contact. Whether that’s a delicate touch to your arm or allowing our leg to touch yours, we don’t shy away from your physical presence and actually try to get closer when possible. However, if we recoil when you get close or give you one of those dreaded “friend zone” side-hugs that eliminate any kind of full body contact, we’re probably not that into you.

3. We make eye contact.

The old adage, “the eyes are the windows to the soul” is right. If we’re into you, we’ll make sure to give you lots of direct eye contact. Making eye contact is a sign of trust and an invitation to engage. A fun scientific tidbit: watch our pupils. If you notice our pupils getting wider, we’re totally interested in you. Pupils dilate due to the release of oxytocin and dopamine, a limbic system-controlled response to attraction. However, if our eyes are wandering while we’re hanging out, you might have better luck with someone else.

4. We mirror your behavior.

Yes, we start acting like you. Studies have shown that when two people move in sync, it’s a predictor of attraction. So, if you lean in, we lean in. If you lean back, we lean back. Watch us. If we’re moving in sync, it means we can’t fight off the attraction.

5. We engage in inside jokes.

If I like you, I’ll go out of my way to make our inside jokes happen. Whether it’s sending you a funny photo via text or creating a parody PowerPoint presentation, if I’m doing these things, it means I care.

6. We laugh at your jokes.

Even if you don’t make a joke, we make sure to smile and laugh throughout our conversation. Beside being an obvious sign of having a good time, it also means we’re relaxed, less stressed, and comfortable in your presence. It’s one of the many things we do to show you that we think you’re awesome.

7. We ask you questions.

If I like someone, I’m curious about them and want to know everything. If we ask you questions about your family, your friends, your hopes and your dreams and seem really engaged in the conversation, following up your answers with more questions, it means that we’re trying to get a real sense of who you are as a person. We only do this when we’re interested. If we keep asking you questions, roll with it!

8. We stalk your social media profiles.

I know this one sounds pretty creepy, but it’s true. Social media is a goldmine of information. If we’re spending time on Facebook or another channel doing “research,” it means we’re legitimately interested in you. So, if you notice your love interest responding to your updates on Facebook or liking a photo on Instagram from 36 weeks ago, guess what? We like you, too.

9. We build you up.

We compliment you. We tell you that we think you look really nice. We call you handsome. We say things like, “I think it’s great that you _____.”
We’re literally trying to spell out I LIKE YOU without having to resort to skywriting. Take us at our word.

10. We make time for you.

We respond to your texts and messages ASAP. We squeeze you into our schedule even when we’re having a busy week. FYI, our time is precious and we only do these things for people we like.

Get the message? If you don’t see your match doing these things, it might be time to re-evaluate your relationship.

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