Dating can be good for you. It can get you out of your comfort zone, open you up to new experiences and by consequence, help you get a better picture of what you’re looking for in a relationship. For example, if I hadn’t dated that pseudo-surfer guy I met on Match.com last year, I never would have even considered Stand Up Paddle Boarding or learned that guys who like to quote Charles Bukowski just aren’t my jam. See – important life lessons!

But, the downside to dating is that it can change you in ways that aren’t always positive. Do you feel like you turn into a different person when you’re single and dating? Have your closest friends commented that they barely recognize you since you started online dating? If the people around you swear that you have a whole Jekyll and Hyde thing going on, this is for you.

Here’s a few signs that online dating might be turning you into a different person altogether.

1. You’ve become a tad (dare I say) obsessive.

Thanks to the advent of mobile dating apps, we can now meet people and find dates right from the comfort of our smartphones. However, the same technology makes it that much easier to obsess over said people. (Did they text you back yet? Wait, they haven’t texted you back but they’re on Instagram posting a photo of their coffee? Don’t they have a life? Who’s that chick in their snapchat photo? Should I be worried? I’m going to DM them right now. Well, after I read through their LinkedIn profile. Interesting – their parole officer is on Vine too. Why did they just block me on snapchat? Ugh, dating is the worst.)

2. You’ve got all kinds of new “interests.”

Living in the Pacific Northwest, it’s almost a given that people you meet online are going to be what the city kids call “outdoorsy.” You can’t throw a stick around here and not hit a single guy who’s into camping, hiking, fishing, kayaking, scuba diving and/or windsurfing. If you’re into these kinds of things, the Pacific Northwest is basically your own private Xanadu. Go forth and have fun! But, for those of us out there who don’t enjoy whatever is popular in our geographic area, online dating can feel a bit lonely and like you’re looking for a needle in a haystack. The pressure to “pad” your profile with popular interests can feel nearly irresistible. That’s how you suddenly end up interested in “deep sea fishing” and “craft beers” even though champagne and bookstores are way more your pace. Just keep in mind that it’s all fun and games until you’re on a fishing boat for nine hours, gingerly sipping an obscure IPA as your date shows you how to gut a halibut.

3. You’ve acquired some new “self care rituals.”

Maybe you’ve grown a beard that resembles Forrest Gump’s when he was running across America (after all, that’s what the ladies want!) or you’ve started to remove hair from body parts that were untouched before (after all, that’s what the ladies want!) While there’s nothing wrong with taking care of yourself so you feel good, if you now feel compelled to do things you never used to do like tint your eyelashes/get fake nails/grow more hair/wear a wig/buy weird creams and your Saturdays are starting to look like the chest waxing scene in The 40 Year Old Virgin; it may be a sign that online dating is changing you. Are you doing these things because you want to or because you think other people want you to? Think about it.

4. You’re drinking more than you used to.

Unless you’re intentionally sober, it’s very easy to invite alcohol into your dates. Dating is nerve wracking, which is why I’m not opposed to having a glass or two of wine on a date. If you feel comfortable and want to have a drink – go for it. However, if you find that you’re drinking way more than you’re used to or making decisions that you never would have made sober, it’s time to take a step back. No one needs that hangover – physically or emotionally.

5. You’re not happy.

The biggest sign that dating has changed you into someone else, is that you’re not actually happy. Dating is supposed to be fun – and contrary to what you may think, you don’t need to change who you are to find a date. You want someone to like you for you, so it’s better that you be unabashedly yourself.