Everyone has that one friend who always seems to have something going on – and no, I’m not talking about stuff like, having a softball game on Sunday and a job interview on Monday. I’m talking about how they just found out their baby mama is secretly dating their mechanic, who is now charging them extra for their car repairs because he’s mad at your friend for not booking the right clown for his kid’s birthday, but don’t worry everything is going to be OK because he just went over and burnt down this dude’s garden shed so now they’ve even. Yes, that friend. They have more drama than a multi-season Keeping Up with The Kardashians marathon, but we love them anyways.
However, what if you end up on a date with one of these dramatic individuals? It takes a special kind of person to love someone whose life reads like the script of an episode of The Surreal Life – but, that person doesn’t necessarily have to be you.
So how can you tell to avoid said person before it’s too late? Here’s how to tell if the person you’re dating has too much drama and maybe it’s just best to walk away.
1. The mention the word “drama” in their online dating profile.
You can usually spot these drama kings and queens before you even go on that first date just by doing some preliminary reconnaissance on their online dating profile. Generally speaking, people who have a lot of drama in their lives and feed off that kind of energy have a hard time keeping quiet about it. Check out their dating profile. Do they mention that they’ve “recently gone through a breakup” and are now looking for something “simple and easy-going?” Is there mention of exes or baby mamas/daddies? (“My ex really hurt me, but now I’m looking for something good – no drama!”) Do they mention the word “drama” oh, you know… 18 times?! As a rule of thumb, people who feed off of drama always like to remind us how much they hate drama – usually in all caps. If the person you’re interested in says they “aren’t looking for drama” or are “just looking for a nice person. NO DRAMA!!!” – beware.
2. They spend a lot of time during the date talking about their ex.
There’s nothing wrong with mentioning exes in passing. After all, it seems silly to pretend like none of us have romantic pasts. Plus, it’s good to get some kind of gage of someone’s previous relationship experience. For example, I think it’s really helpful to know when someone’s last relationship was and how long it lasted. But, if the subject comes up and your date launches into a full out history of their last relationship complete with plot twists (“everything was fine, until he attacked my mechanic”), subplots (“there was this one time when he showed up at my work wearing shorts. I mean, who wears shorts to a funeral parlour?”) and in depth character sketches (“my ex is terrible. At least, that’s what I told him after he burnt down my next boyfriend’s garden shed”) then, there’s a good chance that this person just has too much drama – especially if their relationship history sounds COMPLETELY INSANE.
3. Someone else makes a surprise appearance on your date.
Whether it’s the jilted mechanic in search of retribution or someone they previously dated who just happens to be at the same restaurant; if you bump into someone your date knows and the interaction is less than cordial, this is a clear as day sign that drama quite literally follows them around.
4. They claim that they can’t be friends with people of the same sex.
If your date says, “I’ve never had a lot of close female friends, because there’s always problems ” or “I don’t really hang out with a lot of other dudes because they seem really threatened by/jealous of me” – approach with caution. There’s a reason why they can’t seem to be friends with other men/women and it’s likely that they don’t have good social skills and/or people have just become exhausted by their constant drama. This could mean that they’re looking for a relationship to fill the void left by these failed attempts at friendship which, is anything but healthy.
5. Their personal relationships seem very complicated.
They’re fighting with their best friend, have conflict with their mother and might just have an OK relationship with their cousin Sondra if that super awkward incident at the family barbeque hadn’t happened. Sound familiar? Life is complicated, however not every one of your personal relationships needs to be. If it appears as though your date doesn’t have any personal relationships that aren’t mired in conflict, approach with caution. There’s a good chance that the same brand of drama and conflict will spill over into your relationship.
