If you’ve had the pleasure of enjoying Netflix’s hilarious rom-com series Love, then you’re probably familiar with the term “throwing the date.” If you haven’t seen the show, here’s the quick run-down: Gus (Paul Rust) goes on a date with Bertie (Claudia O’Doherty) and when they realize that there’s no chemistry they each decide on their own volition to “throw the date” (make it terrible on purpose.) What ensues is a hilarious and uncomfortable exchange, as each party tries to one up the other on the alienation scale. It’s laugh out loud funny and hits close to home for those of us who have been on terrible dates in the past (hello, everyone.)

But, what if neither of you are trying to “throw the date” and it’s just terrible on it’s own? We’ve all been in situations where things are going so badly that we want to slide under the table. The best defense against terrible dates is to ensure you don’t reinforce the bad behavior.

If your date does any of these things on the first date, they don’t deserve a second.

1. Shows up to the date late with no notice.

It’s understandable – sometimes life is complicated and you can’t find a parking spot, so you have to send one of those dreaded “on my way! Almost there” texts. But, if your date shows up late like it ain’t no thing, without any kind of prior heads up, this is a clear message that they don’t take you, your time or this date seriously. Do not pass GO.

2. They don’t ask you any questions about yourself.

If the person you’re on a date with doesn’t seem very curious about who you are as a human being (ie. doesn’t ask you any questions about yourself) this is a huge red flag. Either this person is a total narcissist and just wants to talk about themselves, is totally socially inept or just sees the date as a formality before hooking up with you (or some combination of all three) – neither of which makes for a promising future. If someone doesn’t ask you very many questions on a first date it sends the message, “I’m not that interested.” You do not want to date this person. Next!

3. They spend the whole date talking about themselves.

If they don’t ask you anything but then spend the whole date talking about themselves, you should not grant them a second date. If you wanted to listen to someone talking at you, you’d turn on CNN or tune in to your favorite podcast. Unless you’re a fan of being held hostage by one sided conversations, you should not go on a second date with this person.

4. They make you feel uncomfortable in any way.

If you catch yourself squirming in your seat and shuddering like you’re listening to Donald Trump respond to the latest campaign scandal, then you definitely shouldn’t grant this person a second date. If the 2016 election cycle has taught us anything, it’s that people who make you feel uncomfortable now aren’t going to stop making you feel uncomfortable in a few days, weeks or years, in fact, the discomfort will probably escalate. This is just the tip of the iceberg. If this is their “best behavior” imagine what this person is going to be like on date 2 or 3? Shudder.

5. They bring up their ex right away.

By the time we’re adults, it’s pretty much a given that we’ve all had previous relationships. It’s natural that the topic of exes comes up on a first date. Sometimes you have to share biographical information, for example, “I moved here after ending a long-term relationship with my ex-partner” or “I’ve been single for about four years since my last serious relationship.” Talking about this kind of stuff is totally cool. However, if your date starts to talk about how their ex did them wrong, what a terrible person they were, how they had the best body ever or how they still remember the way their hair smelled, run – fast. The first date should be about getting to know each other – not your respective exes.

6. They’re disrespectful to you or other people.

If they treat you, the staff at the restaurant or anyone else you encounter with anything other than the utmost respect, it’s game over. This includes bad-talking and belittling other people, being rude to service staff and generally just being a jerk. Don’t waste your time on someone who isn’t able to provide other people with this basic level of human decency.