In theory, the height of summer is a time when you can kick back, chill and enjoy some fancy-free fun in the sun. But at a time when you should be your most relaxed, every family gathering, pool party and backyard barbeque is another opportunity for nosy loved ones to inquire about your relationship status. Trust me, I know. Can’t a single person just enjoy their Michelada in peace?
If you’re tired of people always asking, “Why are you single?” this is for you. Here’s a few quick and easy ways to shut that topic down once and for all.
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“The cult I belong to doesn’t allow me to date.”
Use this answer sparingly. For example, you probably don’t want to use this one on your boss, but it’s totally OK if it’s your senile aunt Gladys. After you tell dear old Gladys that your cult worships the god of Netflix and extra spicy Cheetos, she’ll nod her head, tell you “isn’t that nice!” and migrate to her next victim. Mission accomplished!
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“I haven’t found the right person.”
If you’d already found the right person, they’d probably be with you at this barbeque/baby shower/wedding/ashram opening. This should be obvious to the person asking, but for some reason, it never is. The fact that you’re waiting for the right person is a good thing. It shows that you’re responsible and not willing to settle for someone who isn’t quite right just to say you’re in a relationship. Feel free to remind the person of these important details.
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“I’m focusing on myself right now.”
As my mom always told me: Build a happy life on your own terms and you’ll eventually attract the right person who has done the same. Regardless of what Hollywood rom-coms have lead us to believe, a relationship won’t complete you (sorry, Jerry Maguire – you’re wrong). Sure, a relationship can add an extra level of awesomeness to your life, but you need to complete yourself first. If more people spent time working on themselves rather than searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right to do all the heavy lifting, they’d probably have found them already. This answer isn’t a copout, because at the end of the day, you need to have a good relationship with yourself before you can have one with someone else.
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“I’m busy pursuing my dreams.”
That lizard breeding business you recently launched is no joke. Those little guys keep you busy! But, it’s your dream and you’re going after it. Whether it’s raising reptiles, climbing the corporate ladder or finally finishing that epic screenplay you’ve been dreaming up, putting dating on the backburner to pursue your dreams and passions is a positive thing. Not only will living out your potential make you happier in the long run, you’ll also have way more to bring to the table when you do date. I don’t know why more people don’t understand this.
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“I’m not over my last relationship yet.”
Why sugar coat it? It’s the truth. If you’re not over the last person you dated, being single is a good thing because it means that you’ve taken the time and space to heal before jumping into something new. Plus, admitting to someone that you’re still trying to heal a broken heart hammers home the point that perhaps their questions about your personal life are too…well, personal and they’ll abstain in the future.
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“When you bring a lot to the table, you often end up eating alone.”
You’re amazing with lots of great stuff going for you and you’re looking for someone who is as interesting and fun as you are. You just haven’t found anyone who can keep up with you yet. If it takes longer to find this person, that’s totally fine – even if it feels kind of lonely in the interim. You’re willing to wait, but you’re absolutely not willing to settle.
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“Frankly, I don’t know! I don’t really spend much time worrying about it and neither should you.”
This may sound harsh, but it’s really no one’s business why you’re single. This is such a personal, loaded question. Everyone has different reasons as to why they’re single. Sometimes it’s as simple as “because I am.” BAM! Unless you’re a Kardashian, I’m willing to wager that your relationship status is the least interesting thing about you. Take this as an opportunity to steer the conversation towards things that do make you interesting – like your future travel plans or your passion for raising lizards. If you’re on the asking end of this conversation, keep in mind that the other person would rather you ask them literally anything else.
