As of this time last year, I never thought that I’d go to a music festival – period – let alone with someone I was dating. Although I absolutely love hearing live music, the idea of large music festivals have always freaked me out a little bit. The crowds. The hours in the hot sun. The questionable bathroom situations (and hygiene). None of it used to sound appealing to me. Everything changed last summer when I started dating someone that is a veteran festival-goer.

Over the course of the summer we went to two different festivals together (one very large one with over 200,000 attendees) and a handful of other concerts. Although I’m still apprehensive about some things (let’s be real – the bathroom situation is always a bit sketchy) I’ve learned a lot. Most importantly, that I love music festivals; and when done right, attending a festival with the person you’re dating is actually a lot of fun.

With Coachella behind us for another year, it’s officially festival season. If you’re considering going to a festival with the person you’re dating, here’s a few tips that will maximize your fun while keeping your relationship intact.

1. Talk about your expectations before you get to the festival grounds.

Are you the kind of festival goer that loves getting hammered in the beer tents and then crowd surfing your way to oblivion? No? As I’ve learned, everyone has a different way of doing festivals. For example, I don’t really enjoy day drinking, so I tend to keep my festival days fairly sober. I like to see as many acts as possible – but, I don’t have to see every. Single. Thing. But, I also understand that not everyone is going to have the same festival approach that I do. This is why it’s important to talk about what you’re hoping to get out of the experience beforehand, so that there aren’t any unpleasant surprises (like when your date suddenly rips off her shirt and starts crowd surfing towards the A$AP Rocky stage.)

2. Have a game plan.

You don’t want to go into a festival without a game plan. You don’t have to have a hard and set plan, but in my experience, it’s better to have a general idea of what acts you’re hoping to see so you can plan your day ahead of time. You don’t want to get to the grounds and start fighting about what you’re going to see and do first. Instead, take some time the night before to talk about what bands you’re really excited about so that you can make sure you see all of your favourites together.

3. Don’t be afraid to do things separately.

While it’s definitely fun to see all of your favourite acts together, if one of you is dying to see Drake, but the other person would much rather catch a smaller low-key set of an up and coming singer/songwriter, keep in mind that it’s OK to split up to check out different acts. Just because you came together doesn’t mean you have to see each and every act together. Trust me – giving each other this kind of flexibility and freedom makes for a much more relaxing and fun experience. Just make sure that you have a solid plan for meeting up again once you’ve seen your respective shows.

4. Be patient.

Everyone is going to react slightly differently to being in the company of thousands of people and the general sensory overload that is a music festival – especially if it’s their first time. This is why it’s important that you be patient with the person you’re with. Maybe your date doesn’t do well in the sun or they get totally hangry if they don’t refuel every few hours – whatever it is, just know that you’ll learn a few things about each other over the course of the weekend. So, be patient. Remember, this isn’t real life – it’s a festival. Nothing about this experience is normal. Keep that in mind and cut the other person some slack. FYI, as someone who is easily overwhelmed, having a date that was patient and understanding truly made my festival experience so much more enjoyable.

5. Know that you can’t control everything.

This is good advice for festival season and relationships in general. Shows get cancelled. Unfavorable weather happens. Feet get blistered. The artisanal mini-donut truck runs out of dough. Stages get changed. Whatever it is – keep in mind that there are going to be variables that you can’t control. Getting worked up about these things is not only futile, it also puts a damper on the fun. If you lean into it and go with the flow, you’re going to have a great festival experience together – artisanal mini-donuts or not.