When it comes to dating, we all have a “type” – or in some cases, several “types” that we like to date. However, if you continually find yourself only dating people who embody your usual “type” my question is this: How is that working out for you? My guess is that if you’re still single and reading this, probably not that well.

I’ve read that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. This is basically what happens when you insist on always dating the same kinds of people you meet online. To the girl who only replies to guys with beards who love craft beer and hiking – yes, I’m talking to you.

What I’ve learned recently is that often who you think is your “type” isn’t your type after all. For example, for a long time I thought I was only attracted to dark haired, super clean-cut, athletic guys who listed in their profile that they spent hours at the gym and ran marathons. However, after going on a few dates with these types of guys I made a shocking discovery: more often than not, we had absolutely nothing in common. Instead, I found I had a way better time hanging out with the quirky hipster guys with whom I shared a lot more common interests – despite them not being my usual “type.” In turn, in many instances I ended up being a lot more attracted to these a-typical guys because we shared a stronger mental connection.

After three plus years of online dating, I can now say that I’m a huge supporter of dating beyond your “type.” Here’s a few reasons why dating someone outside of your usual type can actually work to your advantage –

1. It blows your dating options wide open –

Online dating is great because it automatically connects you with literally thousands of singles that you never would have met otherwise. Why not take advantage of it?! For example, I live in a relatively small place. If I log-on to an online dating site with the goal in mind of finding potential dates who fit my narrow assumption of what my “type” is, I’ll likely find three guys, max. If I drop them a line, there’s a good chance that maybe one of them will actually write back -if that. However, if I open my mind a bit and start looking at potential dates that aren’t people I’d usually go for, my dating options expand exponentially. After all, isn’t the whole point of online dating to connect with people that you may not have met otherwise?

2. Dating against your usual type is fun and you might just learn a few things about yourself –

Two years ago, after taking a break from online dating I decided to get back into the game. My plan: to date as many people who weren’t my usual type as I could just to see what happened. I made a mental list of the different kinds of guys I had never dated before and decided to get to know a few of them. I dated a single Dad. I dated a few plaid shirt clad hipsters. I dated a guy with a lumberjack beard. I went out with very short guys and very tall guys. I dated a bespeckled, blonde haired, blue eyed guy who looked like a taller version of Moby – the complete antithesis of my usual “type” – who turned out to be really great.

Although most of these interactions only lasted a few dates, I learned a lot about myself in the process. Namely, that my “type” isn’t as set in stone as I originally thought – especially when it comes to physical appearance. I learned that I’m actually attracted to and can have great chemistry with a much wider variety of people than I initially assumed. There’s a good chance you might discover the same if you open your mind and dating options!

3. You might just find a hidden gem –

One of the downsides of online dating is that it often encourages us to be superficial. After all, with nothing more than photos and a quick bio, we often don’t have much to work with. Thanks to the proliferation of mobile dating apps, many of us will make our dating decisions by simply swiping right or left on someone’s photo. However, the truth is that not everyone represents well online – some people are much more interesting and sexy in person!

Although I still think online dating is a great way to meet people, I’m happy that I met my current partner the old fashioned way – in person. Why? Because I don’t think we would have met otherwise. At first glance, he’s not my usual type and he’s one or two years out of my usual age criteria. However, knowing him in person I can say without a doubt that he’s so, so, very much my type. He’s everything that I am looking for and then some! It kills me to think that my once rigid online dating requirements might have prevented us from meeting.

The lesson here: be open minded and take chances. Stop holding yourself back. If you catch yourself saying things like “I only date guys who ______ because ______” or “X type of girl never likes me because _______”  – let that stuff go.  Things are only true if we make them true. So, stop limiting yourself.  Get out of your own way and go find that delightfully a-typical individual that makes you smile! Trust me, he or she is out there.