The more I write about being a smart consumer, the more I believe that the trick is not so much deciding what to buy as what NOT to buy. I was recently in the beautiful, immaculate kitchen of a good friend where she serves up scrumptious and sophisticated three course meals. If I try to make a simple pasta dinner my kitchen ends up being a disaster for the next three days. What is a sophisticated tool in my friend’s kitchen quickly becomes greasy unwashed clutter in mine. Therefore I can’t allow myself all the quirky gadgets and appliances that I’d love to spring for. But I can dream, right? And so today for your reading pleasure: a list of the top 10 unusual appliances that I will never buy. Go through and decide for yourself, which of these would be a savvy shopping choice for your kitchen?
10. Tomato Sauce Maker– This basically looks like a meat grinder with a sieve attached to separate liquid from seeds and other solids. It would be nice to imagine myself making fresh tomato sauce instead of buying the prepared stuff that’s loaded with sugar.
9. Rab Mixer– I’m not sure exactly why you’d want your hand mixer to look like neon green bunny but if you do, it’s out there. You can also get it in white, black, yellow and orange.
8. Smoking Gun– This looks like a garden hose attached to a beer tap, attached to a smoking pipe, attached to a nail gun. You light it, and it lets you smoke meat and other foods by hand, without taking up any major counter space.
7. Food Evaporator– Looking like it came out of the lab of a mad scientist, this one takes the liquid or broth from any food you’ve just made and evaporates it down to a syrup that can be used to flavor other dishes later.
6. Medieval Espresso Machine– This may just be a regular espresso machine in functionality but it’s designed to look like a giant spiky morning star on legs. Necessary? Not so much. Awesome? Oh yeah.
5. Portable Toaster– Imagine a big white butter knife with a button on the handle. Instead of spreading butter, this one spreads heat as you moving it across your bread. As a bonus: the heat setting is demonstrated in how many butterflies are showing on the knife’s surface.
4. Bang Bang Egg Steamer– This one I could almost justify. Instead of boiling a pot of water to cook a hard-boiled egg, you can put up to 4 eggs in egg shaped compartments around a small center dial, set the time and the egg gets cooked using steam. Saves water and looks cool!
3. The Smile Toaster– I know, we already had a toaster. But this one will toast a smiley face into your toast. Plus, it’s made of transparent glass heating elements, which means that you can watch your toasty turning that crispy brown color.
2. Fresh Sensor– Simply hold this handle near your meat, press the button and it will tell you how fresh the meat is (with 3 different levels of freshness). I’m not sure I’d trust it, but it’s a nice idea.
1. Spinning Spaghetti Fork– This is pretty self-explanatory and my personal favorite. Just stick the fork into your spaghetti and press the button for it to twirl itself. Sounds like a lot of messy fun to me.
