It’s a fact of life that we want our friends to like who we are dating. If your friends are anything like mine, they know you better than you know yourself. Because of this, I value my friends’ opinions. So, when they don’t like someone I’m dating, it’s troubling. Am I missing a key sign that this person is a total weirdo? What are they seeing that I’m missing?

True friends have your happiness at heart. Therefore, it’s not surprising that a new study in Personal Relationships found that friends are more likely to support relationships that they believe are making their friends happy. If your friends feel that you’re unhappy or your partner isn’t treating you well (or if they’ve noticed them not treating others well generally), it’s worth listening to their perspective.

Whether it’s a character flaw (i.e. the person you’re dating is consistently rude to waitstaff or they’re constantly interrupting other people to share lengthy anecdotes about their fantasy football league) or the fact that you just don’t seem that happy whenever you talk about your relationship, friends tend to notice things before you do, or at least before you’re ready to acknowledge them.

One of the things I love about my closest friends is that they always call out b.s. They don’t always tell me what I want to hear, but they always share with me what I need to hear.

But, what if your friends just don’t like your partner because they’re different? According to another  study in the Journal of Family Psychology,  same-sex couples, interracial couples and couples with large age differences tend to face more stigma than couples that don’t fall in any of those categories. Unfortunately, some people are uneasy around people who are simply different than they are. It could also be that the person you’re dating has opposite political, social or religious views. They also might just look completely opposite from than the kind of people you usually date.  If your relationship happens to fall into any of the above mentioned categories, listen to your friend’s opinions, but take them with a grain of salt.

Ultimately, it’s your happiness on the line. If you’re truly happy in a relationship, eventually your friends will come around. If they don’t, well, then they probably weren’t that good at being your friends to begin with. Remember, while your friends have your best interests at heart, they might not be able to reconcile certain differences, like your partner’s different political views, for example. But they’re not the one dating them. You are. If it works for you, that’s all that matters.

So, how do you know whether your friends’ concerns are justified? Get specific. Ask them exactly what it is they don’t like about this is person. If they say something like, “they’re just too different from you,” probe deeper. Without getting defensive, ask them to clarify what they mean. Are they reacting this way because your new love interest has green hair and a face tattoo or are they legitimately concerned about your safety because of something your date said or did (like that time they saw him/her beating up the chef in the back alley behind your local Chili’s.)

Ask your friends what would have to change for them to like your new partner. If it’s something like, “Change his hair and get those tats removed,” it might just be an issue of personal preference that your friends will eventually overcome once they see the relationship going well. However, if their concern is something like, “I wish they’d be more respectful of you and other people” or “They’re always making you cry and it worries me” –  you might want to hear them out.

Love can be totally blind. At the very least, keep your friends’ observations in mind and see if you notice anything when you’re hanging out with this person. If it turns out your friends are right, they’re sure to be there to help you pick up the pieces.