We’ve all been on first dates that turned out to be less than awesome. Maybe your date was rude to the server or they spent 45 minutes discussing their favorite pilsners, despite your frequent attempts to change the subject. Perhaps they were texting their friend while you were sharing stories about your pet iguana and it really crushed your spirit. Whatever the story – bad dates happen. Most of us write off our less-than-satisfactory dating experiences as life lessons (“Don’t date someone who lists their love of pilsner eight times in their dating profile”) to be shared over a pitcher of margaritas with friends.
However, Brandon Vezmar, an Austin-based single man, recently made headlines when he decided to publicly take legal action following a bad first date. Vezmar is suing a former date for the price of a movie ticket because she texted during the showing of Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2. The date/defendant, named Crystal, is saying she needed to use her phone due to an emergency with a friend and that Vezmar gave her weird vibes from the start.
We get it. It’s pretty annoying when you’re out with someone and they’re on the phone the whole time. In fact, according to Match.com’s annual Singles in America study, 66 percent of people surveyed said that texting on a first date is a huge turn-off, with 58 percent saying they don’t even want to see your phone face up on the table.
With that said, is legal action warranted? After failing to recoup the $17 for the movie ticket and the $4 for the pizza he purchased, Vezmar went as far as contacting all of Crystal’s relatives on Facebook, requesting they get her to pay him back – an action, that has lead to Crystal seeking a protective order against Vezmar, telling the media that she finds the whole situation, “crazy.”
As annoying as it is to pay for an experience that’s less than satisfactory, we’re #TeamCrystal on this one. Vezmar could have done what many of us would have done: chalked it up to a bad date, sucked up the relatively small investment (less than $20) and moved on.
Instead, this whole situation is an example of what happens when one or both parties don’t have realistic expectations for the first date. Here are a few things we should all keep in mind so we don’t end up in a situation like Brandon or Crystal.
1. Always bring enough money to cover the cost of you and your date.
Regardless of gender or who asked whom, always bring enough money to cover the cost of yourself and your date. Even if the other person offers to pay, it’s always good to have a backup plan in case of an emergency (for example, a declined credit card) or if you decide you’d rather pay your own way.
2. Dates don’t come with money-back guarantees.
Brandon Vezmar needs to get this through his thick skull. We live in a society where customer feedback rules supreme and nearly everything comes with a return policy. Sadly, you can’t apply the same principle to humans. If you agree to pay for someone else, you can’t backtrack on that if you decide the human in question doesn’t live up to your expectations.
3. Always have a safe way of getting home that doesn’t involve your date.
Vezmar felt blighted because his date left in her own car and he had to find his own way home. The lesson here: never, ever rely on your date as transportation. Always have enough money to take a cab or Uber home.
4. If you make plans to go out with someone, they don’t owe you anything. Plain and simple.
Dating is a gamble. Attention, money, time, physical intimacy or even a second date – none of this is owed to you if you agree to go on a date with someone. The sooner we understand this (cough, cough, Brandon Vezmar), the better.
