Thanks to the advertising machine of capitalism, somehow we’ve been taught that to create romance and win the heart of your beloved you need to fork out cash for things like flowers, chocolates, jewelry and elaborate gifts. Contrary to what most hip hop songs suggest, the way to truly win over someone isn’t through diamonds, Versace dresses, stretch Lexuses & other material trappings.
Although the finer things in life are nice (who doesn’t enjoy a little luxury every now and then?) you don’t need to drop big bucks to create a happy, and healthy relationship. In fact, I think the majority of people would rather have a partner who is kind, thoughtful and does sweet things, than be showered with flowers and chocolate. Romance is all about paying attention to the little things that make your partner happy and taking the opportunity to do those things without asking.
Here’s a handful of sweet things you can do that cost next to nothing that are sure to make your partner swoon. (You don’t have to do all of these things all at once, but sprinkling these little actions throughout your relationship are sure to make the other person smile.)
- Help them put together their Ikea furniture. If the person you’re dating is anything like me, they dread putting together new furniture (hence, the reason it stays in cardboard boxes, propped up in the corner of my living room for way longer than I care to admit.) Even just offering to help put together their brand new Malm or Skovrsk will win you major points. However, actually picking up that Allen Key and putting it to use will make you a literal hero in their eyes.
- Asking them if there’s anything you can do when they tell you they’ve had a really bad day. Maybe they just need a big hug or what would make everything better is a tub of Coldstone Creamery for dinner (okay, okay that ice cream will cost a few dollars) Showing them that you listen, care and are there to support them when they need it, is worth more than gold.
- DVR-ing a show they like because you know that they’ll be missing it. Whether it’s recording the “big game” or that super depressing PBS documentary series that they’re totally obsessed with – taking the initiative to do something just in case they forget is modern romance at it’s finest. (FYI, if you record the BET awards without me asking, my heart is yours.)
- Tell them they look gorgeous & sexy. Just because. They could be in their sweats, pajamas or all dressed up for a night on the town – letting them know that they’re the most beautiful and attractive person you know never hurts.
- Let them pick the movie or TV show. Even it means you end up watching something you never would have chosen on your own (like the latest Real Housewives franchise), it’s worth it to make them happy (plus they’re way more likely to return the favor next time you want to watch that super dark superhero series you’re obsessed with.)
- Be nice to their friends and family members. Even the ones you don’t like. Nothing says “I’m in this with you” like the ability to accept the friends and family of the person you’re dating. Even if you’re not a huge fan of some of their friends or find certain family members challenging, showing the person you’re dating that you can be polite and mature around the people that are important to them is huge.
- Do that gross thing that they don’t want to do. Nothing says modern romance like trapping the mouse that’s taken up home in their apartment, killing the spider in their bathtub or cleaning the cat box even though it’s technically their chore. Any little thing you can do to make their life a little easier from time to time is golden.
- Listen to them. Really listen to them. One of the most romantic things you can do is listen to really listen to your partner. If they confide in you that they’ve always wanted to hike the Himalayas but are scared, surprise them with a guide book and a reminder that you think they rock (see what I did there?) If the person you’re dating says that they struggle with trust because their last boyfriend or girlfriend was always ghosting on them, make sure to send them sweet “just because” texts throughout the week to let them know you’re thinking of them. It’s all about doing little things that show that you’ve been paying attention to what they need.
