If you’ve ever met someone special and wished with all your heart that you could bring along a buddy on the first date for moral support – you’re in luck! The popularity of Group Dating is on the rise.
If you have ever been asked out like this: “So, my buddies and I are going to such and such bar. Wanna join?” you’re likely no stranger to Group Dating. Dating experts report that the growing popularity of Group Dating has a lot to do with Millennial’s preference for doing things in groups and “hanging out” versus traditional romance. People who see their friends as their safety net and thrive in group settings are gravitating towards Group Dating because it removes the inherent awkwardness of a one-on-one night out with a stranger. In fact, the trend has become so popular that’s there’s now entire apps, websites and matchmaking services devoted to facilitating Group Dating.
Whether you’re introducing the person you’re dating to your group or friends, or meeting up with a bunch of strangers that you’ve met through a dating service, the Group Dating scenario comes with several advantages.
1) No awkward silences – Unless the group of people that you’re out with is incredibly socially inept, the likelihood that there’ll be awkward silences of the “So…how about them Lakers?” variety during a Group Date is slim. In fact, if you’re out with a group of friends, there’s always someone to ask a question, tell a story or fuel conversation if you’re feeling nervous and aren’t quite sure what to say.
Plus, if your Group Date scenario involves introducing your date to your group of best buds, you have an instant moral support network right at arms length.
2) It takes the pressure off of you – One of the perks of Group Dating is that you’re no longer 100% responsible for whether the date is a success or not because there are so many other factors at play. This could be completely unnerving or refreshing depending on how you look at it. If you’re the kind of person that thrives in laid back, group settings, a Group Date is the perfect opportunity to relax and just let things flow naturally.
3) You get to see how the person interacts in a social setting – Group Dating allows you to see how your date interacts with other people and how you do – or do not – fit into each other’s social circles. Maybe your date is absolutely charming in a group, or perhaps they like to start heated debates about gun control within 5 minutes of meeting your friends – either way, a Group Date will definitely reveal your date’s social style. In other words, a Group Date acts as a litmus test as to whether they would be able to fit into your lifestyle and vice versa.
However, Group Dates also have their drawbacks: meeting in a large group can be intimidating for some people and it can also lack the intimacy of a traditional one-on-one date. To ensure your next Group Date is a success, here are a few things to keep in mind:
1) Choose the right group of friends – If you’ve arranged a Group Date through a matchmaking or online dating service, most likely your date(s) will be selected for you by a professional.
However, if you’re in the situation where you’re bringing along a date to meet your friends, it’s important that you put some thought into who they’ll be meeting. Keep in mind that your friends are a reflection of who you are. With that said, we all have a “Wild Card” friend(s) – for example, your freshman dorm room-mate who is a really cool guy but has a tendency to hit on anything that moves, or your female friend who has a knack for revealing jaw-dropping TMI information to near strangers after a few drinks. These “Wild Cards” do not belong on your Group Date. Instead, choose friends who make you feel good about yourself and will present you in you in your best light. The last thing you want is your former roommate testing out his terrible pick up lines on your date (“Hey, I’m looking for treasure. Can I look around your chest?”) or your BFF telling that play-by-play story about how she hooked up with her bikini waxer, while drunk in Cabo.
2) Mind your manners – Be charming, but not too charming. Laugh. Tell jokes. Ask questions. Charm his or her friends. Just make sure that you don’t do anything that would be misunderstood as flirting by their friends. Instead, focus all of your flirtatious attention on your date. Showing that you can be socially engaged while being attentive and affectionate with your date will help score you some major points!
Most importantly, remember to just be yourself. If you’re a guy trying to impress her female friends, check the macho-alpha male attitude at the door. If her friends sense that you are trying too hard to impress them or putting on airs, they will think that you are a phony, and warn her that you shouldn’t be trusted. Once you get the veto from her friends, it’s game over; so, remember to be a gentleman at all times.
3) Choose the right activity – Choose something fun, laid back and not competitive for your Group Date. Going to the beach or hitting up a local brewpub are both great options, because it allows you to talk and interact as a group with minimum stress. Whereas going paintballing or running a 10k together does not.
4) Create intimacy where there is none – As I mentioned above, one of the drawbacks of Group Dating is the lack of intimacy…so, help create some! Master the art of eye contact. In a group setting it’s more important than ever to catch your date’s eye so that they know you’re interested. You can also suggest some alone time with your date. Whether it’s a drink afterwards or a walk home – letting your date know that you’d like a moment for just the two of you can definitely help boost the romance levels of a Group Date.
Now that you know a bit more about what to expect on a Group Date, here’s something to keep in mind: not all Group Dates are created equal. Essentially, they’re an unpredictable social science experiment. Your Group Date may turn out awesome…or it might not. Either way, sticking to these guidelines will allow you to put your best foot foot forward. Now, go forth and Group Date my friends!