Dating someone who is fun-loving is a good thing – to a point. You need a certain level of curiosity, spontaneity and excitement to keep a relationship vital. But, there’s a fine line between a charming, child-like sense of whimsy and straight up immaturity.

Not sure whether you’re dating a grownup? Here’s a few surefire signs that the person you’re dating will never grow up.

1. They’re still 100% reliant on their parents.

They live at home and have no plans to leave. Their parents cook for them, clean for them and do their laundry – all while being “technically” an adult. While there’s nothing wrong with being a bit of a Mama’s Boy/Girl, if your date is literally still relying on his or her parents to fulfill basic survival needs like food, shelter and hygiene, none of this is going to change any time soon – or ever.

2. They’re unemployed and not looking for a job.

The economy is tumultuous. Unemployment happens. But, it’s how a person deals with the loss of a job that separates the grownups from the overgrown kids. If your date is spending their days sitting on the couch feeling sorry for themselves, with no game plan (who needs a job when Mom and Dad still feed you, right?) – that’s not a good sign. Real adults should want independence and to better themselves.

3. They still party like they’re 21.

We all like to have a good time. But, there’s a difference between having a few drinks with friends every now and then, and living your life like every week is Greek Week in college. If your date is still stuck in the perpetual cycle of getting wasted every weekend with their buds and/or their partying is preventing them from leading an adult life – ie. keeping a job, friends and an apartment that doesn’t look like the set from a Seth Rogan movie circa the mid-2000’s – then, Houston we’ve got a problem.

4. They don’t look after themselves and don’t care.

Forgoing health insurance, eating a diet of pizza pockets and brushing your teeth with beer might have been cute in your early 20’s, but, that kind of behavior gets old – fast. Real adults know how to look after themselves and do it with pride. If your date hasn’t mastered the art of caring for themselves, you can’t expect them to show you the love and respect you deserve.

5. Every discussion turns into an argument.

With immaturity comes insecurity. When someone is insecure, they’ll pick fights to try and even the score. Adults are able to discuss issues and work through conflict. If every discussion turns into a major argument where your date resorts to name calling and other playground-like tactics – you’re not dealing with an adult.

6. They aren’t planning for their future – at all.

None of us are perfect. We’re all trying to figure things out. But, as adults we should have an understanding of where we are in life and a general idea of where we want to go – and we’ll be taking the necessary steps to get there. On the contrary, a man-child or woman-child lives doesn’t think about their future at all, which is precisely why you shouldn’t include them in yours.

7. Their spending habits are abysmal.

When it comes to spending money, real adults know how to differentiate between “needs” (rent, bills, paying down debt, putting money into savings) and “wants” (super cool splurge items.) If your date is up to his or her eyeballs in debt and is always on the verge of being evicted because they spent all of their money on things that can’t really afford, they haven’t mastered the art of adulting.

8. They never plan or take initiative.

You basically keep their calendar;  reminding them of special events, appointments and your date nights (which, you plan of course.) A true adult should want to feel in control of their own life. They should also be excited to take initiative to do things to make the other person happy. If the person you’re dating can’t even plan a date night – sorry – they’re not mature enough for you.

9. Doesn’t offer to help out.

Maybe it’s because Mom and Dad are still their caregivers or they’re stuck in  a permanent state of adolescence where everything is still all about them, but it seems like they never take care of anything, choosing instead to be taken care of. They’re not looking for a partner – they’re looking for a surrogate parent. Time to move on.