It’s easy to decline a second date when the first one was an unmitigated disaster. However, what should you do if your first date was just “OK?”

I can’t count how many times I’ve agreed to go on a second date with someone for the sole reason that I felt like I couldn’t find a good enough reason to say no. I was under the impression that unless there was overwhelming evidence that a person was a bad fit, everyone deserved at least two dates. However, after going on my share of lackluster second dates over the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that this simply isn’t the case. If you’re not feeling it on the first date, there’s a good chance that the second one isn’t going to to change things.

Here’s a few instances where you should absolutely say “NO” to a second date.

1. They spend the whole date on their phone –

Yes, emergencies happen and sometimes we have to pick up our phone. However, if your date is frequently avoiding eye-contact because they’re looking at the phone, texting or leaving the scene of the date to take calls, it doesn’t matter how attractive or “nice” they seem – this person is already in a relationship: with their smart phone.

2. They made you feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable –

Maybe it’s their personality, the way they look at you or that sexist comment they made over dinner – either way, if anything about the person makes you feel uncomfortable, there’s absolutely no reason to feel like you need to go out with them again. For example, earlier in the year I went on a date with a guy who told me that he has problems with anger management, adding, “but, don’t worry – I never get violent.” Although he seemed like a decent enough guy, it was enough to make me uncomfortable. Our intuition is there for a reason. Listen to it.

3. The conversation is entirely one-sided –

This could go either way: In the first scenario, they do all the talking, don’t ask you any questions about yourself and you can’t get a word in edgewise. Your date shouldn’t feel like you’re on the receiving end of a therapy session. If the other person is more interested in talking about themselves than finding out what makes you tick, this likely won’t change on the second date.

On the other hand, you shouldn’t have to carry the whole conversation. Although a little bit of first date awkwardness is totally normal, the date shouldn’t feel awkward or like you have to talk about the weather just to fill dead air. If this is the case, nix the second date.

4. You don’t leave the date smiling –

Although chemistry can build over time, you should feel some kind of connection on the first date. Whether that’s full-out butterflies or a feeling of intense excitement that you’ve met someone really cool; there needs to be an impetus for you to want to see the other person again. If you can’t specifically say what you like about the other person or you describe the date as just “OK” there’s a good chance the second date isn’t going to get any better.

5. They bash their ex –

It’s natural for exes to come up in conversation – after all, we all have pasts. However, if your date starts speaking negatively about their ex in front of you, consider that a deal breaker. Not only is this uncomfortable to bear witness to (see #1), it also shows a lack of tact and offers a preview of how they’ll speak about you.

6. They don’t pass “The Sweatpants Test” –

When given the option of going out with this person again or staying at home in your sweatpants, watching reruns of Criminal Minds; you choose elastic waistbands and fictional crime solving – you’ve got your answer. No further investigation required.

7. They were rude to your server –

I truly believe that there’s a special place in hell for people who are rude to those working in the service industry. It doesn’t matter how sweet, charming, successful and good looking this person is – being rude to servers shows a lack of kindness and empathy. Next!

8. You’re just not feeling it –

Simple as that. There are a lot of good people in this world. You may even end up on a date with one of these people and have an OK time. However, if you’re not feeling the connection after the first date, you shouldn’t feel like you have to accept a second date just to be nice. You also don’t need to justify why you feel the way that you do. Your time is precious. Use it to focus on people that you are into.