If I’ve learned anything over the years it’s that there’s a fine line between “romantic” and “just straight up creepy.” I think this has a lot to do with the fact that so many popular films and TV shows have fed us the idea that the only way to show someone we truly care about them is through unexpected, grandiose romantic gestures. But, guess what – when translated to real life, most of these acts are more likely to incite criminal charges than romantic butterflies.

Here’s a few so-called romantic gestures that are just creepy. Don’t try these at home, kiddos.

1. Chilling outside your love interest’s bedroom window.

Whether you’re standing outside holding a boombox playing “your song” (John Cusack in Say Anything) or setting their lawn afire with their name spelled out in flames (American Beauty) the “hey, I’m just going to show up outside their window” move is highly overrated (especially if you’ve just started dating or barely know each other.) Even if you’re madly in love with each other, keep off the lawn.

2. Telling someone, “from the moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew you were The One.”

While this seems romantic on the surface, if you think about it – it’s not. If you “fell in love” at first sight without knowing anything about them, you’re basically saying, “I was really attracted to your physical appearance.” While there’s nothing wrong with that, telling someone “I like your bod” isn’t exactly the height of romance. But, you know what’s actually romantic? Waiting and telling someone specifically made you fall for them (Ie. “once we started to get to know each other and I saw what an amazing person you are because of _______, I knew I couldn’t let you go.”)

3. Sneaking into someone’s house and covering their bed with roses.

Seems romantic, right? Well, until it happens to you. An ex of mine made arrangements with my then-roommate to sneak into my bedroom and cover every surface of my bed with rose petals. We’d only been dating a few weeks and had only made out a couple times. It was wayyyyy too intimate, wayyyyy too fast. It felt a bit like my privacy had been breached in favor of letting off a giant flower bomb. Also, he should have checked to see if I actually liked these kinds of gestures (I didn’t.) I still haven’t forgiven my former roommate.

4. Watching someone while they sleep.

Aerosmith was wrong about this. There’s nothing romantic about staying “awake just to hear you breathing.” Get some sleep buddy! Same goes for breaking into someone’s bedroom to stand over their bed because you have to “make sure they’re safe” (a la Edward Cullen in Twilight.) As a rule of thumb, anything that could lead to criminal charges, shouldn’t  be considered romantic.

5. Creating a fake identity to woo someone.

Sure, this worked for Disney’s Alladin and a host of other film heroes and heroines, but creating a fake identity to attract love is just wrong. When the person on the other end finds out that you’re not who you say you really are (even if you’re actually a millionaire and you’ve just been pretending to be broke) they aren’t going to feel swells of love, they’re going to feel lied to. Don’t do it. The best person you can be is yourself.

6. Ambushing them with song.

Whether you’re showing up somewhere unannounced clutching a boombox or surprising them at work with a marching band in tow, this kind of stuff doesn’t work in real life.

7. Challenging your date to kiss you for the first time in front of thousands of people.

In other words, don’t pull a Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed. Everyone is different when it comes to intimacy. Pressuring someone to take your relationship to the next level in front of an audience, isn’t romantic – it’s manipulative.

8. Attempting to interrupt a wedding.

It seemed really sweet when Ted from How I Met Your Mother flew across the country and dug up an entire park to find the perfect “you should have chose me” gift to give to his ex on his wedding day – but was it really? If the object of your affection is marrying someone else, insinuating your own feelings into their special day is just inappropriate. They may have made the wrong choice, but you have to let them figure that out on their own. Attempting to stop a wedding just makes you look like a big jerk.