If you’re the kind of person that needs a lot of “alone time,” dating can be…well, interesting.

Trust me – I should know. I’m what you call a “very outgoing introvert.” I’m extremely social, I love to go out and I (obviously) love to spend time with whoever I’m dating. I’m perfectly comfortable being the life of the party until my energy starts to feel depleted. When that happens, I know that there’s really only one way for me to recharge: by spending some quiet time alone.

I think this is why I’ve always struggled to understand couples that appear to spend every waking moment together. They work together, they play together and they probably even shower together. They seem to be quite literally attached at the hip (and have the #coupleselfies to prove it.) While I often daydream about finding someone that I’d actually want to spend all of my time with (I mean, who doesn’t want to find their forever #MCM or #WCM?); if we’re being completely honest, the reality of what being in that kind of relationship gives me a panic attack. I’ve been on this earth and dated enough to know that I need to balance my “together time” with ample “solo time” in order to keep me feeling like my best self.

Unfortunately though, not everyone you date is going to understand where you’re coming from. Here’s a few things that only single people who need a lot of “me time” understand.

1. You always explain to the other person, “none of this is about you.”

The fact that I need to spend ample time solo is not a reflection on the people I date, it’s just my personality. Because of this, I often spend a lot of time trying to explain to the people that I date needing to spend a few hours every Saturday morning to just chill out & read (in lieu of hitting up whatever brunch line up is longest that week) does not mean that they’re a bad date. It just means that I literally need that time to recharge so that I can be 100% present when we do hang out.

2. It’s super annoying when you get called a “homebody,” a “hermit,” “boring,” or “low-energy.”

This is the worst. A few years ago I dated a guy who had the nerve to call me these names just because I wanted to go home and chill after spending all day and evening at an outdoor hip hop festival. I’ll happily dance and imbibe all day to A$AP Rocky and Drake, but at the end of the night what I’m really craving is my bed, some tea & a blanket. The thing is, I don’t think there’s anything “lame” about needing to rest and relax. In fact, when I spend time alone, it’s anything  but boring. I’m reading books, listening to podcasts, working out, learning new things and doing stuff that makes me a better person. I don’t judge you for not needing time alone, so stop judging me.

3. Spending time alone means that you know how to take care of yourself.

Self-care is important. Spending time alone means that I have time to do visit the yoga studio, do my nails, moisturize, look after my hair & do all of the stuff that help me look and feel my best. But, self-care isn’t just about the external. Knowing when I need “me time” shows that I’m tapped into my internal needs too. I know my limits and what I need to do in order to feel like my best self. In other words, I practice good mental hygiene. You should want to date someone who knows how to look after themselves both physically and mentally.

4. When you haven’t had any alone time and you start to feel really overwhelmed.

Cue: mental meltdown. When there’s been a flurry of social activities (weddings! Bachelorette parties! Family events! Three day music festival!) there’s a point when you start to feel really depleted and really, really, overwhelmed. It’s not fun.

5. There’s great value in being independent.

For those of us who need a lot of alone time, it’s usually a combination of our personality and the fact that we’ve become really good at being independent. We want to be in a relationship, but we don’t need to be in a relationship in order to be happy. We know how to do things on our own and make ourselves happy, which is a good thing. Would you really want to date someone who couldn’t be alone and relied on you as their primary source of happiness? Of course not, because that’s completely unhealthy. Embrace our independence like we do.

6. If we’re hanging out with you it means that we really want to be there.

Simple as that. We’re all about quality over quantity. If we’ve given you our time it means that we really, really want to be with you.

7. Not everyone is going to get it – and that’s OK.

Everyone is different. Not everyone is going to understand or respect your needs – and that’s OK. You don’t want to date those people. The right person will understand that as much as you adore them, sometimes you just need to hide under a blanket and watch six hours of Orange is The New Black without judgement before you’re ready for your next big adventure as a couple.