“I just want to meet someone mature that I can have an adult relationship with.”

Sound familiar? If you’re looking for a relationship, now is the perfect time to check in with yourself to see if you’re really ready. Actions speak louder than words. So, while you say you’re ready to settle down, your behavior may say otherwise.

Not sure if you’re really ready? Here’s some surefire signs that you’re ready for a mature, adult, relationship.

1. You can be straightforward with the people you like.

In your online dating profile you may say that you’re “totally over games and drama,” but are you really? If you have to mention this eleven-ty million times, you probably still have the drama and games of yore on your mind. That’s OK. However, when you’re ready for a mature relationship with another adult, you won’t waste time trying to figure out how to “hook them” or who should text who first, you’ll just be upfront and tell them you’re interested. If they don’t share your feelings, you’ll survive because you are confident that there’s someone out there who is a good match for you.

2. Your priorities have changed.

When you were younger you were looking for the “perfect” boyfriend/girlfriend who had the beauty, brains and bank account of Brangelina (among other arbitrary qualities on your “perfect mate checklist.”) It’s not that you don’t want to date someone who is smart, kind and that you’re ridiculously attracted to, but you’re now a bit more realistic about what that actually looks like in real life. You want to be attracted to your partner, but you also value stability, kindness, respect and shared values. You understand that “perfect on paper” doesn’t always translate to someone you can have a great connection with.

3. You’re thinking more long-term.

You’re not looking for a date for Saturday night or a fling to spend the hot months with, you’re thinking more long-term. You want to meet someone that you can get to know and hopefully build a lasting relationship with. You know that this might take time, but you’re OK waiting – after all, your days of instant gratification dating have faded in the rearview mirror.

4. You understand the importance of shared values.

When you were a teenager or in college, the idea of “shared values” wasn’t on your radar – not really. Things like marriage, careers and children, still were very much in the future. However, now that you’re older and ready for an adult relationship, you understand the importance of wanting the same things.

That person you met online may seem really hot and interesting, but if they don’t want the same things or share the same values (ie. they want to travel the world in a gypsy caravan, promoting their composting toilet business, whereas you’re content with a stable career in the city) it’s probably not going to work out long term. Instead, you’re looking for someone who shares a similar vision for the future (ie. a house full of dogs, vacations to Europe and a home for two in a hip, downtown neighborhood.)

5. You’ve learned the difference between love and lust.

Love at first sight is usually just lust at first sight – ie. intense sexual attraction. In fact, you’re now at the point in your life when you can look back on some of your previous romantic entanglements and see that maybe the reason why you were “head over heels” for your barista wasn’t because they were your soulmate, but because you were just intensely infatuated with them. While sexual attraction is huge, it’s not everything. Actual feelings of love take time to develop. You get this, which is why you’re not just going to jump into a serious relationship just because you’re sexually attracted to someone. You’re not in a rush and you’re willing to wait for the right connection.

6. You don’t need a relationship to complete you.

There’s a saying that goes something like this: the best time to get into a relationship is when you don’t need to be in a relationship. While meeting someone would be great, you don’t need another person to complete your life. You already live a full life, complete with family, good friends, a career and fun activities. You’re not looking for a crutch or for someone to pull you out of loneliness. Instead, a relationship will only add to your already awesome life.