We’ve all been in this situation before – you meet someone you really like, they seemingly like you too, you go on a couple of really great dates together, only to have the relationship go absolutely nowhere. That’s not to say that you don’t stay in touch. You text all the time and hang out periodically. However, when it comes to your future as a couple, you’re in commitment purgatory.

Behold the “Almost Relationship” – a dating trend that seems to becoming increasingly more common. While there’s nothing wrong with having casual relationships – after all, not everyone is looking for a long-term commitment; if an actual relationship is what you’re after, having an “almost” boyfriend or girlfriend is frustrating at best. There’s nothing satisfying or healthy about continually not getting what you want and need from the person you’re dating. In fact, (for lack of a better word) it sucks.

So, how do know whether you’re in an “almost relationship?” Here are a few surefire signs.

1. You text all the time but they never ask you to actually hang out.

“All talk and no action” is a key indicator of the “almost relationship.” Let me know if this sounds familiar: you went out a few times and have been texting like crazy. They text you in the morning. They text you when they’re bored at work. They text you when they need advice. They text you to say goodnight. And yet, there’s been zero talk about scheduling that second, third, or 12^th date. If this just described your current dating situation, you might have an “almost relationship” on your hands.

The benefit of this kind of arrangement for the person on the other end is that they get the emotional support and validation of an actual relationship without having to actually be in one. If someone wants to date you, they will make it happen. If you feel like you’re someone’s virtual partner/therapist, it’s time to ask them what their intentions are and if necessary, let them go.

2. You only hang out behind closed doors.

Sure, maybe you’ve gone for coffee and grabbed a few beers, but when it comes to actually spending time together it’s usually at home, out of the public eye. While there’s definitely something to said about ordering takeout and binging on Netflix; if you’d like more from the relationship (for example, to be seen in public together) and they’ve shown no interest in making this happen, you’re likely not not on the same page.

3. You don’t go on proper dates.

Your “dates” could easily be mistaken for simply “hanging out.” When it comes to doing things in public, the activities are always casual and they’re often scheduled at the last minute. Being spontaneous is good, but if you’re fed up with always being asked out at the last minute (“hey, it’s 10pm on Saturday. You free for a drink at the local dive bar?”), there’s a good chance that you’re dealing an almost relationship.

I’m not suggesting that every date has to involve roses and a meal at a five star restaurant, but if someone is interested in having a real relationship with you, they’ll have no problem asking you out on a proper date in advance. In fact, they’ll jump at the chance because they’re ready to do what it takes to make you feel special and valued.

4. They only want to hang out at certain times of the day.

Like, after dark or when their kids are in school. While it’s understandable that the person you’re dating is very, very busy, being in a real relationship means that you’re willing to open your heart and schedule to the other person. If they’re not able to carve out any time in the life to spend time with you (other than between 1 and 3pm on Wednesday afternoons) they might not have the capacity to be in legit relationship with you.

5. They get weird when you ask them to be your date.

Maybe your old college roommate is getting married or you want to bring a plus one to a local charity event. Either way, if you ask the person you’re dating to do something specific with you and they act like the request is completely out of left field, bingo – you’re in an “almost relationship.” I learned this the hard way when I asked my last “almost” boyfriend if he wanted to go check out a farmer’s market with me and he started nervously stammering about how “he might be busy that morning.”

6. You want more than what they’re offering.

Simple as that. If you want more from the relationship than what they’re able to offer (for example, day time dates and a commitment) then really, that’s the only sign you need.

So, how do you extricate yourself from an “almost relationship?” Easy: you speak up. Talk to the person you’re dating. Have an honest conversation. It can even be as simple as “I really like you, but I just need to know: is this going anywhere?” Yes, it might feel awkward at first but asking the question is the only way to get the answer. If it turns out that you don’t share a vision for your future, at least you have the information you need to move on.