I can’t count how many times I’ve heard someone say, “dating seemed like it was so much easier back in the day.” While there are some things that I think previous eras did really well (i.e. chivalrous acts like opening doors and making actual set plans with the people you date), if you take a look at dating tips from the past, most of the advice ranges from utterly cringe worthy to completely sexist (or both.)

To prove my point, I’ve rounded up some of my favorite dating tips of yore. While most of this old-school dating advice is pretty awful, in most cases we can learn something from it.

1. “Do your dressing in your boudoir to keep your allure. Be ready when your date arrives; don’t keep him waiting. Greet him with a smile!”

At first glance, this advice seems outdated and reeks of sexism (“don’t make him wait” – uh, ok) but I think what it’s getting at is this: respect the time of people you date. While I’ve never had a date get annoyed by me putting on a coat of lipstick in front of him before we head out for the night, it’s just good manners to be timely when it comes to dating. Respect people’s time and they’ll (hopefully) respect yours.

2. “Careless women never appeal to gentlemen. Don’t talk while dancing for when a man wants to dance, he wants to dance.”

Dance in silence? Uh, I don’t think so. If I want to sing along to Beyonce, I’m going to do what I’m going to do. If my date joins in – even better! I don’t want to date a man who isn’t comfortable with me having fun and expressing myself – and neither should you. But, what I think we can take from this advice is that you shouldn’t try and multi-task while you’re on a date. Start by putting away your phone so you can focus on the other person. Talking while dancing isn’t going to hurt your chances at love, but constantly checking your phone might.

3. “If you need a brassiere, wear one. Don’t tug at your girdle and make sure your stockings aren’t wrinkled.”

I think what we can take from this very outdated piece of advice (girdle? Do they mean Spanx?) is this: look your best and wear clothing that’s comfortable and fits well. While this advice is directed towards the ladies (because, sexism and the 1950’s), this advice applies to men too. If you’re pulling at your clothing or undergarments, they either don’t fit properly or it just isn’t something you normally wear. You want to look your best for your date, but you also need to feel like yourself. Whether this involves wearing a “brassiere” or not is totally up to you.

4. “Only floozies ask men out”

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Asking a man out doesn’t mean you’re a “floozie,” it means you’re living in the 21st  century. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking a guy out. In fact, I’d wager that most guys would be pretty excited if someone asked them out because it takes the pressure off of having to make the first move. Besides, waiting around for someone else to make the first move when you can do it yourself is just lame. Ladies, ask away!

5. “Let him talk first, remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.”

This is a big fat “NO.” You should never feel like you can’t speak up on a date. Think about it: a date is a chance to get to know each other. The only way to make this happen is through an open conversation where you can both share things about your lives. If one person is dominating the conversation or making you feel like what you have to say isn’t as important as their “stuff” – that’s not cool. Ask questions. Don’t spend the whole date talking about yourself, but don’t shy away from speaking up. It’s all about balance.

6. “Always pick your date up at their front door.”

I’m going to play devil’s advocate and say that this piece of advice is not relevant to dating today. If you’re meeting people online and through dating apps, it’s best that they don’t come to your house for the first date. In theory it seems kind of chivalrous, but you shouldn’t let anyone know where you live until you’ve had a chance to get to know them. Instead, always meet in a public place.