I’m sure you’ve heard it before: “but, we all play games!” While this isn’t completely untrue — after all, when it comes to dating and finding love there are often games we play without even realizing it — opening yourself up to meeting new people can be scary, which is why we sometimes play these little games: to protect our heart. Games give us a sense of control in a situation that is truly beyond our control. But, no one likes games. The irony? By trying to safeguard ourselves from rejection, we actually push people away.

If you’re going to meet the right person online, you need to make yourself available. That’s why when someone is truly ready for a relationship, all of the silly games go out the window.

Not sure whether you or the person you’re interested in is ready to be in a relationship? Here’s some games that they won’t play if they’re looking for something serious.

1. Waiting an arbitrary, predetermined length of time to return texts, messages or phone calls.

If you’re really looking for a relationship online, time is of the essence. When it comes to games like, “I have to wait X hours to text her back, so I can keep the upper hand” – well, ain’t nobody got time for that. Someone who is legitimately trying to meet someone online will text/call/write back as soon as possible. Why? Because they interested in getting to know the person! It’s as simple as that. No games.

2. Playing hard to get.

While I don’t believe in making yourself so available that you’re literally begging someone to be with you, playing hard to get just because you think it will give you the upper hand is simply a waste of time. If someone is interested in you, they will want to be with you – preferably, sooner rather than later. It’s really that straightforward.

On the other hand, if the person you’re interested in oscillates between flirting with you and total aloofness, they’re playing games. It doesn’t mean that they aren’t a decent person or don’t find you attractive, it’s just that they’re not ready for something real.

3. Sending mixed messages.

The idea of “mixed messages” is kind of bogus. If someone likes you, they make it known through their actions. They will ask you out. They will set aside time to spend together. And, when you do hang out together they’ll be engaged and present in the experience. In other words, they’ll show up mentally, physically and emotionally. If you’re still not sure where you stand with someone, it isn’t that that they’re sending “mixed messages” – it just means that they’re probably just not that into you. If someone really wants to date you, they’ll take whatever steps necessary to make this happen.

4. Using the line “I’m not into labels.”

Whether you decide to call each other boyfriend/girlfriend/partner or something else entirely, if someone actually wants to be with you, they will be completely comfortable with the “label” of being together. In fact, they’ll be excited and proud to let people know that you’re dating! If they can’t do this, it’s a surefire sign that they don’t want to be in a serious relationship – regardless of what their online dating profile may say.

5. Dating on the rebound.

If someone has just broken up with someone recently and claims that they’re 100% ready for a new relationship, they’re lying to themselves and you. It takes time to heal and recover after a breakup. Rushing the process doesn’t work. If someone is truly ready to be in another relationship, they’ll have taken ample alone time to process what happened and get reacquainted with being single.

5. Keeping you in the dark about their feelings.

Someone who is ready to be with another person will have the bravery to say, “hey, I like you and want to be with you.” Someone who is ready to find a relationship online also understands that time is a precious commodity. They would much rather deal with disappointment early in the game, than aimless anticipation.

6. Wasting your time and theirs.

These games all have something in common: they’re all huge time wasters. As I mentioned above, someone who is serious about finding a relationship isn’t interested in wasting their time or yours.  People who are relationship-material aren’t content with hanging out in emotional no man’s land. Instead of beating around the bush and being vague and wishy washy, they’ll be responsive and upfront. In other words, they go after what they want.