If you’ve ever read the comments on a YouTube video or anything online lately, you’re probably aware that the internet has the tendency to bring out the worst in humanity. While online dating is a great way to connect with people, because it takes place in the digital world, unfortunately, a lot of these bad internet behaviors tend to spill over. It’s just the nature of the beast. But, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world.

Here’s a few ways that online dating brings out the worst in people and how we can save ourselves from ourselves –

1. It makes us judgmental.

When you meet someone in real life you have a lot more to go on besides their looks. You can usually assess things like their voice, the way they carry themselves and their ‘real life personality.’ But, in the realm of online dating, we can’t access all of this info. Instead, we’re forced to make our decision as to whether we’re interested in getting to know someone based on their photo and a brief personal write-up – and let’s face it – the photo usually wins out.

Humans are visual creatures. If I don’t like the way someone looks in their photo, I won’t bother reading through their profile. Throw in the fact that mobile dating apps like Tinder encourage us to swipe right or left, based on someone’s photo and online dating can make us a bit judgy. Someone who may have won us over in person with their personality and charm, gets a “nope” when we’re “swiping” for love.

How to change this: Read the profiles. It’s human nature to judge, but by reading the profiles of people you’re probably going to get a more complete picture of who someone really is. Hey, you might even find a diamond in the rough.

2. It makes us passive and lazy.

When you don’t have to leave your house or even put on real pants in order to meet new, potential dates, it’s easy to become passive and lazy when it comes to your love life. When you’re trying to meet people in person, you have to bring your A-game. You have to step out of your comfort zone and take a leap of faith. However, with online dating, there’s always this sense that  meeting “the one” (or even “the one for Friday night”) is just a click away. So, why put in more effort than you have to? After all, there’s always more fish in the sea and eventually one will come to you – right?! Wrong. Laziness is lame. Even if you’re online dating, hanging out on the sidelines and not taking any action isn’t going to get you very far.

How to change this: Be proactive. Instead of waiting for people to come to you, make a point of introducing yourself to people that seem interesting. It’s up to them to respond, but at least you’ve taken the bull of by the horns. Need some practice going after what you want? Step away from your computer and try meeting some people in person. Building up your confidence in real life situations will only help your overall dating mojo.

3. It makes us creepy.

One of the biggest downsides of online dating is the creep factor. For some reason, when you put a computer screen in front of some people they think it’s an open invitation to let their freak flag fly. If you wouldn’t say something to someone’s face, you shouldn’t say it online. Simple as that. In fact, a lot of guys I’ve spoken to said that often they won’t make the first move with women because they’re afraid of coming off as “creepy.” To all the creeps out there: you’re ruining it for the rest of us. If you’re thinking of sending a super explicit sexual message to that cute person you’ve spotted online – just don’t. Please and thank you.

How to change this: With all online communication, always ask yourself, “would I say this to someone in person if I met them in public?” If the answer is “no,” don’t press send.

4. It makes us paranoid.

Omg, they’re online and they haven’t written me back? What’s going on with them? Are they talking to other people?! I probably said the wrong thing. Ugh. Sound familiar? That’s because online dating has the tendency to make us kind of paranoid.

How to change this: Take a deep breath and chill out. You can’t control other people’s actions, but you can control your reactions to them. Step away from the computer or your smartphone screen and unplug for a bit.

5. It makes us feel like there’s always something better around the corner.

When there’s the possibility of connecting with thousands of other singles from all over the globe at the click of your mouse, online dating can give you the sense of never ending options. Why commit to anything when there might be something better just around the corner? While there’s nothing wrong with keeping your options open, if you actually want to meet someone, this “grass is always greener” mentality is a surefire way to shoot yourself in the foot. Life is made up of a series of choices. Also, life is short. If you meet someone you legitimately click with, congrats! Real connections are rare and should be celebrated. Don’t throw something great away just because you think you may be able to find something better.

How to change this: If you think a relationship has actual potential, give yourself time to actually get to know the person. You might be pleasantly surprised. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll never have to wonder “what if.”