We all have “our thing.” While some women are attracted to rockstars and musicians, others are drawn to men who excel in the boardroom and the bedroom. In fact, I have a close female friend who almost exclusively dates highly successful businessmen – many of which either own their own businesses and/or are in the finance industry.

While I don’t share my friend’s taste for dating finance guys; smarts, ambition and success are definitely a turn on. When someone is really good at their job and can teach me new things about the world, I find it incredibly sexy. Explain to me the basics of coding or how a hedge fund works over a bottle of wine? Um, yes please.

However – as I have discussed many times with my friend who has a heart-on for bankers – many of the traits that help you excel in the business world are things that make you terrible at romance. Don’t believe me?

Here’s a few traits that will make you win at business but fail at dating –

1. Persistence, persistence, persistence-

As Donald Trump says, “never, ever, give up!” Did you know that Walt Disney was once told by an editor at the Kansas City Star that he lacked creativity and imagination? If he’d taken those words to heart he never would have won 22 Academy Awards or gone on to become a ubiquitous household name. Instead, he kept going – refusing to succumb to rejection. However, while persistence is a golden trait in the business world, the same doesn’t necessarily apply to dating. In fact, being very persistent can actually be a negative when it comes to love.

Although it takes a level of persistence to be successful at dating – for example, staying open to new opportunities even after you’ve been disappointed – when it comes to dating, no always means no. Aggressively pursuing your goal (a person) at any cost and refusing to accept rejection won’t lead you to success, it will however likely lead to a restraining order. When it comes to dating, you need to listen for the word “no” so you know when to back off. For example, when someone makes it clear that they’re not interested, don’t hound them or send them twenty messages in a row asking them to reconsider their decision. Just don’t. These kinds of tactics are creepy and don’t work. Trust me.

2. Expecting a “return on investment” –

A good business leader knows that if they invest X amount of time and money into Y, they’ll receive a return on their investment. However, dating just doesn’t work that way. People aren’t investments – they’re people: messy, gloriously flawed humans. Going into relationships thinking that if you invest time and feelings into someone that you’ll receive a personal gain in return is not only selfish, it’s entirely unrealistic. In the dating world, not every “investment” you make in time or energy is going to pay off. Human relationships are complicated. Not everyone you have feelings for is going to feel the same way and sometimes things just don’t work out for a variety of reasons. If you’re committed to meeting someone, you need to get comfortable with the fact that what you put out there isn’t always going to be returned.

3. Project managing your dates –

A successful business manager gets excited by new projects and spearheads them with almost tunnel vision-like intensity, taking on a firm leadership role and delegating tasks when necessary. While this may be a good strategy in the business, this doesn’t really fly in the dating world. Once again, people are people – not projects. Trying to manage your dates like you’d manage a project, your staff or clients isn’t going to work. When it comes to your love life, you’re the boss of yourself – not other people. Also, you can’t expect that if you follow a specific action plan that you’ll achieve a specific result. Love is unpredictable. You need to be flexible. Thinking you can and should control the “flow” of the project or call all of the shots, will only make you come off as rigid, controlling and selfish. In other words, exactly the opposite of the kind of person most people want to date.

4. Being adept at making cutthroat decisions –

Once again, Donald Trump would agree that a key to being successful at business is knowing how say “you’re fired!” when someone is no longer working in your favour. While I’m not suggesting you continue to date people who clearly aren’t right for you, a cutthroat attitude towards dating isn’t always going to work to your advantage. Unlike running a company, the people you date aren’t there to serve your interests. Dating is a give and take. Dismissing someone immediately because they aren’t offering a good return on investment might cause you to miss out on a person whom you might have had a great connection with had you allowed the relationship to grow. As Aziz Ansari says in his book Modern Romance, some people are like Flo Rida songs – they get better with repeat listens.

5. Never being satisfied. Always striving for better –

Successful business people are never satisfied with remaining in the status quo. They’re always looking forward and coming up with new and innovative ways to make their business bigger, better and more profitable. While I’m guessing that Steve Jobs never would have been as successful as he was if he had simply designed the first Apple computer and said, “This is it! I’m stopping now!” the same logic can actually hurt you when it comes to relationships. I’m not suggesting you allow your dating life to become stagnant or predictable, however always looking into the future towards the latest, biggest, brightest opportunity prevents you from really appreciating the good people and opportunities that are in front of you right now. Just a thought.