Times have changed. The hard and set rules that once applied to dating no longer exist. If you’re still clinging to the same arbitrary rules that you picked up years ago, I have a question: How’s that working out for you?

If you feel like your dating life could use a good kickstart, here are some outdated dating rules that you need to ditch asap.

1. Not making the first move –

Ladies, you need to get over your fear of making the first move. Dating advice books like The Rules often suggest that women should never contact a guy first – this is total hogwash. The days of being coy and waiting for your Prince Charming to just show up are like, so, 50 years ago. In the words of internet meme sensation, Kimberly “Sweet Brown” Wilkins, “ain’t nobody got time for that.” Your time is precious, spend it going after what you want.

If you want to send a guy a message or text, do it. Just like women are taught to be demure flowers prepared to play the waiting game, men are taught the opposite: that they always have to be the initiators. Not only is this concept wildly out of date, according to the men I know, it’s also totally exhausting. Think you might click with a guy? Send him a message. He’ll probably be delighted and relieved to hear from you first.

2. Waiting X number of hours or days to call or text someone back.

Of all the outdated dating rules, this one has to be annoying. If you like someone, there is nothing wrong with showing enthusiasm and legitimate interest. People are busy and technology has accelerated communication like never before. If you’re arbitrarily waiting X amount of time to return someone’s text, you might as well be sending a message by carrier pigeon.

When someone I’m interested in takes a really long time to get back to me, I just assume they aren’t that interested or have other priorities at the moment. If this reveals itself to be pattern, I just assume that they’re playing games – something that’s a huge turn-off. After all, why would I spend time with someone who plays games when I could focus my energy on someone who isn’t afraid to show that they’re interested?

3. The idea that a woman should never pay for anything on a date.

Although I do love to be wined and dined on the first date (call me old fashioned), I also like to treat the person I’m dating. Whether that’s buying dessert and after-dinner cocktails or taking him out for an elaborate meal after we’ve been seeing each other for a while, the guys I’ve done this with have been notably impressed, usually responding with a comment like, “wow, that’s so cool of you!” After all, men often feel the pressure to always foot the bill. Offering to treat them once and a while not only makes them feel special and valued, it’s switches things up a bit and keeps things interesting.

4. Never accepting last minute dates –

Thanks to technological innovations like mobile dating apps and an the faster pace of life overall, many people are making plans on the go – and this includes dating. Why? Because they can. So, while I do firmly believe you should set personal boundaries with your time and invites of the “Um, it’s midnight and I’m at this bar with a bunch of people. Wanna stop by?” variety are, well, lame; if someone contacts you at the last minute with a legitimate invite and says something like, “I know this is last minute, but I have tickets to this really great event. Would you like to come with?” it’s silly to say no just on principle (when you actually want to go!) Having personal boundaries doesn’t mean you have to close yourself off to any and all forms of spontaneity.

5. Only dating “your type” –

I’ve seen way too many people get bogged down by the concept of who their ideal “type” is and refusing to date people who don’t fall within this narrow self-defined category. Real talk: after years of dating, I’ve learned that although there are certain features that I find attractive in the opposite sex, my “type” is way more diverse and fluid than I initially thought.The great thing about online dating is that it allows you the opportunity to be exposed to a wide variety of people. Some of my best dates have been with guys I’ve met online who aren’t my “usual type” – people I might not have met otherwise. Instead of focusing on external attributes, ask yourself, “how do I want to feel when I’m with someone else?” Once you’re able to answer this question, you’ll realize that “type” isn’t so important after all.