One of the perks of dating in the mobile internet age is that it’s become so much easier to meet and connect with other single people. However, with all of this technology at our fingertips, it’s also become that much easier to obsess over all the little things that your date may or may not be doing.

Think about it – how many times have you been out with friends and heard someone say, “He did ____. WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?!” while flashing the group a text message on your phone. Yes, we’ve become a society completely obsessed with the minutiae of dating because, thank to technology, we can.

However, the problem with reading into things too deeply is that it wastes time and often taints our perception of situations. The time we spend over analyzing every little thing that a person says or does is time that we could spend actually getting to know them face to face, or pursuing other productive, fruitful activities.

Still don’t believe me? Here are a  few examples of things we all read too deeply into when online dating –

1. Text messages that we receive –

Oh my god. Where do I even start?! I’ll just come out and say it: we spend far too much time obsessing over our textual communications. I can’t count how many times I’ve had a friend ask me to give a “reading” on what a certain text message “really means.” Here’s the thing: my name isn’t Dionne and this isn’t the Psychic Friends Network – how should I know what the person you’re dating is thinking when they text you? With that said, I’m going to take a stab in the dark and say that the text means exactly what it says. If someone texts you, “Sure that sounds good.” it’s easy to take a sharp turn down the obsession highway (“He/she included a period at the end of the sentence. Aggressive much? Oh and they didn’t include an exclamation point. Clearly they’re not that excited to see me!” Sound familiar?) when really all their message means is that they are cool with your plans. Done.

Before you start obsessing over a message someone has sent you, keep in mind that everyone has a different communication style – especially when it comes to text. I once dated a guy who was a mature, self composed individual in person, however his text messages were riddled with multiple exclamation points (!!!!!!) and an excessive use of winky emoticons. The texting style and the person don’t always line up so, take all text communications with a grain of salt.

Not everyone is going to communicate exactly how you communicate and some people get downright weird when you put them in-front of a screen and keyboard. Unless they’re sending you texts rife with offensive language and the emoticon symbol of the bloody knife, give them the benefit of the doubt. Don’t hate the player, hate the technology.

2. Making the first move.

Not only do we obsess over the textual communications that we receive, we also spend far too much time worrying about what we send other people. While it’s definitely wise to be conscientious about what you send potential dates, when it comes to making the first move it’s best to practice the following mantra: “done is better than perfect.” Why? Because perfectionism leads to paralysis. Online dating is a numbers game. In order to meet someone you connect with, you’re likely going to have to message and interact with a lot of different people. The time you spend trying to craft the “perfect” first message is time that you could be using to connect with new people and (gasp) go on actual dates. So, stop focusing on perfection and make the first move. You can’t go wrong with a message that’s clear, concise, personable and polite.

3. The details on someone’s profile.

Stop reading too deeply into what someone writes on their online dating profile. Does your online dating profile provide a detailed account of every aspect of who you are as a person? Probably not. My guess is that like most people’s profiles it’s just a taste – it outlines your interests, lifestyle and your core values. An online dating profile isn’t meant to provide a complete unabridged biography of a person’s life. It’s meant to give just enough information to see whether you might be compatible with someone in person.

Another thing to keep in mind is that not everyone is a great writer. Some of the best people I’ve met online had online bios that were straightforward, honest and without a lot of pizazz. Because of this, when I read through online profiles I’ve stopped focusing on the little details that could lead to erroneous assumptions about people (“Oh, he likes dogs and walks on the beach? How typical! Next!”) So, instead of analyzing every word they write, look at the “big picture” and pick out any obvious “red flags” (for me, these are poor spelling/grammar and/or obvious clashes in values and interests.)

At the end of the day, the communications you engage in via online dating and text should be seen as an appetizer. You can’t really fully get to know someone until you interact with them in person. So, stop obsessing so much and go on an actual date.