We’ve all faced challenges at one point or another, when it comes to online dating. Having a happy and productive dating life isn’t about avoiding the challenges, but rather facing them and handling them in a mature and efficient manner.
Here’s a few of the most common dating challenges and some useful hacks that will surely help improve your love life online –
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“I want to meet someone but I don’t have time to search online.”
I get it – the idea of sitting at home, night after night perusing online dating sites doesn’t exactly sound like a lot of fun. If you can relate, I’d like to introduce you to your new best friend: mobile dating apps. Dating apps like Match.com or Zoosk are perfect for busy people who are always on the go because they allow you to connect with thousands of other singles right from your smartphone. If you’re still in the “I don’t have time for that!” camp, consider all the time you spend not doing anything productive throughout the day: while you’re waiting for your latte at Starbucks, on public transit, at the DMV, in line at Target etc. When you make use of an mobile dating app, those few minutes here and there provide more than enough time to check out a few matches and maybe even send a quick message or two.
Secondly, if you want to date you need to make time for it. Whether you’re using a mobile dating app or a traditional online dating site via your computer, try setting aside a one or two hours a week either before or after work to review your matches, send a few quick messages and hopefully schedule dates. To avoid having these sessions be total time sucks, go in with a game plan. For example, “tonight I’m going to log in for one hour, answer three messages and find three new people to introduce myself to.”
When you maximize the free time you do have and focus on quality over quantity, you’ll be surprised at how your dating life starts to flourish – busy schedule and all.
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“I met someone I really like online, we went out a few times, had a really great time and now they’re not calling me back.”
When someone ghosts on you, it sucks. While it’s natural to feel rejected (after all, it’s always tough when you put yourself out there and the other person doesn’t reciprocate), here’s the thing: it’s not about you. If someone chooses to not call or text you back, it says more about them than it does about you – namely, that they’re inconsiderate and maybe a bit immature.
It could also mean that they’re just really afraid of confrontation. We’re living in a time where we have all kinds of amazing technology that allows us to connect to people instantaneously, however it seems like despite all the communication tools at our fingertips, people are more afraid than ever to say what they really think and feel. I know there have been times that I’ve allowed a dating situation to quietly “fade out” rather than having an actual conversation with the other person where I potentially hurt their feelings.
So, how do you overcome this? Let it go. If someone doesn’t call or text you back, think of it as a favor. They’re letting you know, “hey, I’m not The One.” Remember, it’s not our responsibility to try and figure out someone’s actions or why they have the shortcomings they do, but to accept them and move on.
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“Ugh, everyone I’ve met online has been weird or has turned into a bad dating experience.”
Ok, let’s get real for a minute: not every date is going to be wonderful. Online dating involves a lot of trial and error. As the saying goes, sometimes you have to kiss a bunch of frogs. However, if you find that you’re consistently having horrible dating experiences, here are a few things to consider.
Your profile: When it comes to dating (and life in general, really) you get what you put out there. Your online dating profile and photos are the first thing people see, so you want to make a stellar first impression. If you keep attracting duds, you might want to take a very careful look at your profile. Does your profile accurately describe who you are as a person and what your values are? Maybe there’s something you can update. For example, if you feel like you keep meeting people you don’t have much in common with, take some time to add in some things you are really passionate about. Don’t just say, “I like to have fun.” Be as specific as possible! You might get less replies overall, but the ones you will get are way more likely to share your interests.
Is your profile positive and upbeat? Instead of listing everything you DON’T want in a partner, focus on the positive qualities you are looking for. Better yet, show how you embody these qualities yourself. Remember, like attracts like!
Go on less dates: If you’ve been approaching online dating like a numbers game, try going on less dates. Read through people’s profiles carefully to ensure you share similar values and interests. Be extremely selective. As mentioned above, if you’re trying to improve your dating life, focus on quality over quantity.
