Finding the right person online can be a long and arduous journey fraught with uncertainty, disappointments and false starts. So, it makes sense that when you finally meet someone that you like, you are going to have a case of the feels. Cue: butterflies.
But, no matter how bad you wanted to meet someone, transitioning out of being single is still a big change. You’re excited. You’re happy. Maybe you’re even feeling a bit worried and insecure. The truth is, it doesn’t matter how confident, secure and independent you are as a single person, when you finally meet someone, all the competing thoughts and emotions can make you feel a bit…well, crazy.
If you’ve been flying solo for a long time, here are 10 thoughts you have when you meet and start to fall for someone.
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“YAYYYYYY!”
Don’t even try to hide it – you’re bubbling over with excitement. You’ve been single for a really long time and now there’s this lovely new person in your life that’s captured your attention. Enjoy this feeling. Revel in it. Throw your hands up in the air and wave them around Kermit The Frog style. Celebrate. Just keep in mind that while this new development is fun and exciting, it doesn’t take away from the fact that your life was still really great before this new person showed up.
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“Wait, will this cut into my Netflix time? What about that kick-ball league I just joined?”
Yes, you really, really wanted to meet someone. But, if you’ve been single for a long time it’s totally normal to worry about how a new relationship will affect your freedom. As a single person you’ve filled your life with all kinds of awesome things so you wouldn’t feel like a partner was missing (also, you just started watching Grey’s Anatomy from the beginning.) Although you knew you’d meet someone eventually, when it finally happens it can feel a bit like you’re juggling priorities: letting this person into your life, while keeping your outside goals and interests intact.
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“Now I can finally get my family off my back!”
Ah yes, one of the sweetest byproducts of meeting someone is that you can finally stick it to all of those nosy relatives who take pleasure in asking super awkward questions at family gatherings regarding your single status. (“No, Aunt Gladys, I won’t die alone…”)
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“Can I trust this person?”
Putting your trust in someone new can be really, really scary – especially if you’ve been single for a long time and/or because you were hurt deeply in the past. Love is always a gamble, so the best you can do is trust that your intuition will lead you in the right direction.
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“Hallelujah! I have a plus one!”
Your cousins wedding that you’ve been putting off RSVP-ing to? You can bring a date. Same goes for that office party that you always attend alone. Take that Aunt Gladys!
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“What does this mean?!”
After being single for a long time it’s easy to feel like you’re rusty when it comes to dating and all the little social cues that go along with it. Coupled with the fact that you’re equally afraid of getting hurt and messing things up, you obsess over each and every little detail.
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“I guess I have a reason to shave now. Oh god! I have to shave!”
Whether it’s shaving, getting a pedicure or showing up regularly to the barber, having an object of affection means that you consider kicking your grooming game up a notch.
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“Is this going to end?”
Unpleasant as it is, it’s totally normal to worry about whether a new relationship will last. It’s frightening to have feelings for someone with no guarantee that the relationship has what it takes to go the long haul. However, while these fears are totally natural, don’t let them turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. In other words, don’t envision the end before you’ve even begun.
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“I’m really scared of getting hurt.”
Opening your heart and life to someone new can make you feel vulnerable and exposed. Here’s the thing: there’s no way around it. In order to fall in love and build a relationship you need to open yourself up to another person. Yes, it can feel uncomfortable and scary, but it’s necessary. Lean into it.
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“Everything they do is magic!”
Just like The Police song, this new person in your life has you under their spell. You adore everything they do. This overwhelming feeling of wellbeing and admiration is the best part of meeting someone new. Instead of worrying about the “what ifs,” embrace the joy of getting to know this person, with the knowledge that everything will unfold exactly as it’s supposed to.
