When I started dating my recent ex after three years of single life, it was both exciting and a major lifestyle adjustment. Here are a few things you learn about yourself when you start dating someone after being single for a really long time –

1. Having feelings for someone can feel amaaaaaaaazing. But, it can also feel super uncomfortable.

Opening yourself up to someone else after you’ve been single for a really long time is both exciting and quite scary. There’s no guarantees in dating, so putting your heart in someone else’s hands can make you feel really vulnerable – something you’re not used to. The best advice? Get comfortable with the uncomfortable.

2. It’s OK to have a protective shell, but you can’t be afraid to open up.

As a longtime singleton, you’ve built a protective shell around your heart and for good reason – you’ve been hurt in the past. But, when you start dating someone again you’ll quickly realize that in order to make the relationship work, you’re going to need to let the other person. This can feel daunting, but it’s worth it.

3. You have less “me time.”

You love dating someone but you also love spending entire weekends binge watching every season of Grey’s Anatomy in your underwear. What gives? Having a boyfriend or girlfriend means that you no longer have as much time in your schedule to do your weird single person stuff. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just an adjustment.

4. You sometimes forget that you’re part of a couple.

You adore the person you’re dating, but sometimes you forget to check in with them before making plans – like when you buy tickets to go to see a troupe of male strippers and/or agree to help your friend move cross country. It’s not that you’re trying to be disrespectful to your partner, it’s just that you’re not used to being part of a team. This will become abundantly clear when you bring up those male strippers and your date is less than impressed. You’ll laugh about it later, but once again, this is just another adjustment to make.

5. It’s all about timing.

When you’ve been single for a long time, timing is everything. You’ll be surprised at how slow you want to take things with this new person. Alternatively, you’ll be shocked at how quickly you’re ready to go all in. Either way, you’ll probably know exactly what you want.

6. You won’t settle.

Poor communication? Lack of trust? Questionable hygiene practices? You’ve had plenty of time to reflect on your previous relationships, so now that you’re dating for someone, you won’t settle for things that don’t make you happy. Instead, you’ll address them head on.

7. You’ll sometimes feel insecure.

Do they like me as much as I like them? If he doesn’t text back right away, should I assume he’s not really feeling it? Is he/she really over their ex? As a single person, these are things you never have to think about. As long as these insecurities aren’t taking over your life, feeling a tiny bit insecure about being with someone new is totally normal. This is all part of “becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable.”

8. Your schedule becomes more complicated.

You’re very active socially and have spent your tenure as a single person filling your life with great friends, fun activities and family bonding time. Dating someone is great, but it means that you have to make time for them in your already packed schedule. Once again, this can be challenging but oh-so-worth it.

9. Old habits die hard.

Taking up the whole bed. Eating the last nacho off the plate. Doing whatever you want. It’s not that you’re trying to be a jerk it’s just that old habits die hard and you’re just not used to having someone in your life.

10. You know you’re OK being single.

Insecurities and uncomfortable feelings aside, being single for a long time has given you confidence that you didn’t have before. Although you want things to work out with this new person; if things end, you know it will hurt but it won’t be the end of the world. You know what it’s like to live a full, rich life and be single. If the worst case scenario happens, you’ll simply go back to being the bad-ass single person that you were before.